The Truth
by MidnightRaven23
Summary: Set after Episode 1x14 Coup De Grace. Michael's seen the security video. He knows Alex is lying. Alex thinks every trail was covered. What happens when Michael hits his breaking point? Will everything fall apart? Or will it be their salvation?
1. Chapter 1 Video Worth A Thousand Words

DISCLAIMER: No I do not own the characters of Michael, Alex, or anything to do with Nikita. This is just me expressing my love for the show.

**The Truth**

**Chapter 1 - Video Worth A Thousand Words**

Michael stared at the monitor in Operations. It was late, bordering on 3AM, and he was the last one left in the building. Everyone had left or gone to sleep except for the guards. No one would be coming back to start Operations up again for another hour. No one but him was there to witness the shocking facts.

He had watched the video over and over, but he still couldn't process what he was seeing. He'd been going over debriefings from the mission, but when he saw this he just went blank. As much as he wished it wasn't true, the security footage didn't lie. As much as he wanted to believe there was a legitimate reason, he couldn't stop the rage from building. She was talking on the earpiece while unknowingly directly facing the security camera. She wasn't showing the expected response considering who she was talking to. She seemed relieved, not furious or on edge.

The mission was compromised in the end.. Nikita showed up... The target survived... Nikita escaped again. The reason for the failure may as well have been slapping him in the face with the brutal reality of the footage... She had lied to and betrayed Division... She had lied to and betrayed _him_!

"Damn it!," Michael yelled as he threw the files at the window facing the Training Room.

He slammed his fists on the desk and bowed his head trying to get his body to stop shaking from rage. Glancing down he saw the cell phone laying next to his left hand. All at once he felt a state of calm. Taking a deep breath he slowly reached out and flipped open the cell phone. As if he was on autopilot, his fingers scrolled through the contacts, then once they found who they were looking for he hit Send. He listened to it ring and ring until finally it just went straight through to voicemail. Not bothering to leave a message he shut his phone.

Michael grabbed the disc of the security footage and put it in the interior pocket of his jacket. Picking up the files, Michael grabbed his keys, and after storing the files in his office where no one could go through them, Michael walked out of Division with only one destination in mind.


	2. Chapter 2 Rude Awakening

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ok seriously, I am _floored _at the amount of response I've gotten for just the one chapter of this story. The idea was bouncing around in my head as soon as the episode ended and I decided to test the waters with it, but I never _imagined_ I would get this much instant response to it if any. Thank you to everyone who has Subscribed, Reviewed, Favorited, done ANYTHING to make this story loved. I wasn't sure if I would continue or not, and still not sure how long this story will carry out to, but here is the next chapter for all you amazing people. Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: No I do not own the characters of Michael, Alex, or anything to do with Nikita. This is just me expressing my love for the show.

**The Truth**

~**_Previously in The Truth~_**

Picking up the files, Michael grabbed his keys, and after storing the files in his office where no one could go through them, Michael walked out of Division with only one destination in mind.

**Chapter 2 - Rude Awakening**

_~Earlier that night~_

Alex sighed as she rolled over and glanced at the clock. 11:30PM. _Crap. Please for the love of all that is good Let. Me. Get. Some. Sleep!, _she thought as she turned away from the clock to once again try and get some semblance of rest. It was no use though.

No matter how she tried to get her mind to shut down, her thoughts still kept going back over the mission, or thinking about Michael AND Nikita, or worse yet...

"Thom... I'm sorry," Alex whispered to the quiet room.

As soon as the words left her mouth she clenched her eyes shut_. _She tried to forget that night. Tried to forget watching her one true friend in Division die from the gun shot wound that _she_ caused, but every night the reality remained the same. The scene would always play back in her dreams, really her nightmares.

Thoughts of the mission she could deal with. Michael and Nikita, well she still hasn't worked that one out yet really since _neither_ of them would _tell her anything_! Thoughts of Thom, however, and thoughts of everything that led up to her making Agent status was one thing she could _NOT _ stand to think about. Experiencing it the first time destroyed her, but to have to relive it every night, it was starting to break her completely.

Alex tossed and turned restlessly until finally the frustration of everything got to be too much and she passed out to once again relive one of the worst days of her life.

_~Few hours later_~

*_BANG BANG BANG_*

"What the hell?,' Alex yelled as she fell out of bed. Looking at the clock she saw that it was now around 3:20AM and groaned at the measly amount of sleep she'd managed to get or what could pass for sleep anyways. "Who the hell would be knocking at my door at this hour?," she grumbled as she slowly got herself on her feet.

She started to walk towards the door, but then thought better of it and grabbed her gun as a precaution. Whoever it was banged on the door a few more times, and then it was silent. She crept towards the door and leaned up to check the peephole to see who was there.

"Alex, let me in! I know you're here!," Michael yelled, causing Alex to jump before swinging the door open glaring and pointing the gun at Michael.

"What. Is. Your. Problem?," Alex whisper-shouted at Michael. "Keep your voice down you damn idiot or you'll wake the whole building!"

"I wouldn't have had to yell in the first place if you would have simply answered the door. Or better yet, there is a thing we gave you called a cell phone. Maybe you should learn to answer it," Michael calmly said back to her as if he hadn't just been yelling loud enough to wake the dead.

"Oh for god's sake, Michael! It's just barely after 3 in the morning! People are trying to sleep at this hour, me being one of said people, and naturally I wouldn't be answering a cell phone If. I. Was. Sleeping!... Or trying to at least," Alex muttered at the end still not allowing Michael into her apartment. "Why are you _here,_ anyways?," she asked while looking at him suspiciously. "Don't you have someone else to bug, or Division work to do, or oh! I know! A little thing called sleeping like NORMAL PEOPLE!," she raved at him while he just stood there staring at her not looking remotely fazed by anything she'd just said.

After staring at each other for a moment, he finally sighed and shook his head while tiredly rubbing a hand across his face. "First, put the gun down. Second, let. Me. In. Preferably before all the racket _you're_ making wakes the-,"

"Alex? What's going on?," they both froze and turned to see Nathan rubbing his eyes while leaning in his doorway.

"Neighbors... Too late," Michael grimaced and Alex hurriedly put the gun behind her back as they faced Nathan and shared a look saying, _Now what?_


	3. Chapter 3 Sticky Situations

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Wow... I don't think I have EVER gotten that many alert subscriptions that fast o.o EVER. You guys are amazing! Here's the next chapter!

DISCLAIMER: No I do not own the characters of Michael, Alex, or anything to do with Nikita. This is just me expressing my love for the show.

**The Truth**

~**_Previously in The Truth_**~

"Alex? What's going on?," they both froze and turned to see Nathan rubbing his eyes while leaning in his doorway.

"Neighbors... Too late," Michael grimaced and Alex hurriedly put the gun behind her back as they faced Nathan and shared a look saying, _Now what?_

**Chapter 3 - Sticky Situations**

"Ehehehe... _Hi, Nathan, _what's up?," Alex faked a smile as well as she could and hoped that Nathan hadn't seen the gun or heard the argument that he'd just interrupted. Glancing at Michael, she noticed he was shaking. _What? Is he... He's LAUGHING? At a time like this he's laughing? _Alex clenched her hands into fists and crossed her arms so she wasn't tempted to do anything to the moron known as her previous instructor who had woken her up at THREE in the MORNING!

"Ahem," Michael cleared his throat, shaking Alex out of her thoughts only to realize they were both looking at her expectantly.

"Um, what?," she asked, nervously starting to fidget and shuffle her feet. Michael just merely raised an eyebrow at her and lifted his hand towards Nathan.

"Nathan here was just asking what all the racket was out here, Alex. Care to tell him?," Michael answered her pleasantly, while his eyes were telling her, _Lie lie lie lie LIE! _Alex scratched her head and shrugged sheepishly at Nathan while trying to think of a reasonable explanation. Since he _clearly_ couldn't find out about Division, she went with her next safest excuse that wasn't a _total_ lie.

"Sorry Nathan, Michael just came to inform me of a... Of a major emergency at work! He tried calling, but when I didn't answer my phone, he came to get me since everyone is being called in to fix it," she stumbled over the excuse and looked to Michael for agreement. Instead of approval, she was surprised to see him glaring and minutely shaking his head at her, mouthing the words, _Wrong. Answer_. Given his reaction, she started wondering just why exactly Michael was there.

"Yeah, I'm sorry man. We're just having some massive problems at the office, and our boss will _kill_ us if we don't show up. Alex is one of our top employees and is Assistant Director of the department we're having the problem in. She _needs_ to be there to straighten it out," Michael explained to Nathan, turning on the charm and doing his best to keep it together long enough to get them out of _this_ particular mess. Looking at Alex, he saw her watching him suspiciously and slowly edging away from him. He jerked his head towards Nathan's direction and mouthed, _Get rid of him_.

Alex wasn't sure what the hell was going on with Michael, but she knew something was off and that Nathan didn't need to be involved in this. Looking at him, she saw him looking back and forth between Michael and herself unsurely. Finally, he turned towards her again. She grinned sheepishly and bowed her head.

"Are you _sure_ that everything is okay, Alex?," Nathan asked taking a step towards her. She nodded her head emphatically.

"Yep. Positive. Everything's fine, Nathan. I'm really sorry we woke you, I promise it _won't_ happen _again_," Alex sweetly agreed. "You can go back to sleep. Michael and I are just going to head out in a bit so we won't disturb you anymore." Nathan wearily looked at Michael before sighing and nodding at Alex.

"No worries, I'm just glad you're alright," he responded, and gave her a slight smile before nodding at Michael and heading back into his apartment. Breathing a sigh of relief once she heard the door click shut and the lock being turned into place, Alex slowly turned to Michael and before he could say anything she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into her apartment.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing? Let go of-," Michael exclaimed, but she cut his rant short.

"Zip it, Michael! That was one close call too many. Now, I demand an answer. What. Are. You. Doing. Here?," she bit out at him through gritted teeth. Instead of answering her he started digging in his pockets. Seeing him pull out his cell phone she opened her mouth again, but he raised a hand to her motioning her to be quiet. She watched confused as he dialed a number and waited.

"Hey, Birkhoff, did you get it done?," he inquired, seeming to be holding his breath while avoiding looking at Alex. Breathing a sigh of relief, he nodded at whatever Birkhoff told him on the phone. "Thanks man, I'll let you know when you can activate it again. Uh huh, yeah whatever, bye Birkhoff," he grumbled out at the end. Slowly, he put his phone back in his pocket and finally looked at Alex again. "Didn't think you'd have to be aware of this, Alex, but you're apartment is bugged. Same as mine. Given the reason I'm here, I asked Birkhoff to quietly shut down the feed for both locations for the time being," he explained while pulling at his tie to loosen it. Getting anxious about whatever was going on she saw the opportunity and pounced on it.

"Okay, Michael. I'll ask you one more time _Why_ are you _here_?," she demanded. While looking at her in a way she couldn't figure out, he slowly pulled a disc out of his coat pocket. Raising her eyebrow, she opened her mouth to speak, but he finally answered her.

"You're aware that I was going through the debriefings earlier right?," Michael calmly asked her. Nodding her head nervously, she waited for him to continue. "This disc is part of the debriefings. Every mission Division does, we get a video of the security feed from the mission. _This_ video is from the security feed of the lobby where the hostages were being held. Where _you_, Alex, spoke with Nikita on the headset," he continued as Alex felt her palms start to sweat and her eyes widened. "I think you know why I'm here," he finished while looking at her expectantly.

All Alex could do was stand there frozen as she felt everything start to come crashing down around her. Realizing she was stuck in a very bad situation, she could only manage one thought. _Oh... Shit._


	4. Chapter 4 Keeping Calm Or Not

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Now I know some of you aren't happy with the cliffhanger at the end of the last chapter, but I'm hoping this makes up for it. Think it will. Enjoy and thanks again for all the reviews and alerts!

DISCLAIMER: No I do not own the characters of Michael, Alex, or anything to do with Nikita. This is just me expressing my love for the show.

**The Truth**

~**_Previously in The Truth_**~

All Alex could do was stand there frozen as she felt everything start to come crashing down around her. Realizing she was stuck in a very bad situation, she could only manage one thought. _Oh... Shit._

**Chapter 4 - Keeping Calm... Or Not**

_Okay, Alex, just breathe. Just breathe and everything will be fine_. That was all that was running through Alex's mind as she stared at Michael in shock. Slowly pulling herself together, she tried playing it cool and with a completely neutral expression she met Michael's gaze head on.

"Actually, I'm not sure I do, Michael. We already discussed what happened with my conversation with Nikita when I talked to you yesterday on the phone. I don't know what els-," she said the excuse automatically, but Michael wouldn't let her finish.

"Don't lie to me, Alex. I asked if you were concerned at all during the conversation. You claimed you weren't, but clearly _this _proves otherwise," he said, holding the disc at eye level. He walked over to her TV, put in the disc, and turned around to pin her with the penetrating look she was getting tired of seeing. "Maybe you should have a look for yourself," he told her, and before she could stop him, Michael pressed the play button.

Looking at the TV, Alex was careful to keep her face blank even as she felt her heart pounding in her chest. As the video progressed she saw herself facing the camera as she spoke with Nikita, she saw how open her face had been about what she was feeling. She saw all the mistakes that could get her cancelled if they didn't believe her. Halfway through the video, however, she finally noticed the one thing she could use to her advantage. The video had _no sound_. Unless they knew how to read lips, they wouldn't be able to put anything on her.

As the video came to an end, Michael ejected the disc set it back in his pocket and crossed his arms. "Care to explain what you were so worried about, Alex?," Michael inquired, watching her like a hawk.

Knowing Michael wouldn't back down unless she gave him something for an excuse, she told him the only one that came to mind. "Fine, okay, I was worried. I was worried about the mission. Steven was being an idiot and wasn't following protocol on what to do in that situation. We should've left before the cops got there, but he was so obsessed with killing Nikita and Prince Erik that he was compromising everything and got two of our agents killed and-"

"And what, Alex? It's true Steven didn't follow protocol, but that wasn't your concern. You had your own orders to follow yet instead you're off chatting with Nikita! Who also, I might add, somehow mysteriously managed to avoid _every single_ task force that was tracking her down in the museum. _Almost_ like she had eyes on the inside of the group telling her our every move," he cut her off so harshly, all she could do was listen as he cut to pieces every reason she tried to use. Then she noticed how loud he was getting _again_.

"Michael, can you-," she tried to interrupt him to get him to lower his voice, but he wasn't even looking at her. It was like he was looking through her and he just kept talking.

"It's bad enough we have to deal with Nikita on the outside sabotaging everything, Alex. Now I'm having to watch my own recruits turned agents to see if they're acting suspicious too, and after Thom's betrayal of the organization Percy's breathing down my neck about _every damn thing_ that happens! Do you have any _idea_ what they'll do to-," he was going on and on gradually increasing in volume. Alex had raised her eyebrows staring at him flailing about, but when he mentioned Thom, it knocked the wind out of her and she lost it. Walking over to Michael, she slapped her hand over his mouth.

"Shut. Up. Michael," she bit out, watching as his eyes finally focused on hers again. Feeling him start to talk again, she clamped her hand tight over his mouth. "I said, shut up! Unless you want a do over of that oh so _un_pleasant encounter with Nathan earlier, you will keep your mouth shut!," she hissed at him matching his glare with her own.

Seeing him start to calm down and give his consent to be quiet, she cautiously removed her hand. Slowly backing up, she eyed him before turning and walking to the coat rack. Grabbing her coat, she pulled on some gloves and a hat, then double checked her pockets to make sure her phone was there. Finding it, she walked into the kitchen to get her purse and grabbed her keys off the counter. All of a sudden Michael clamped his hand around her right arm,q causing her to drop the keys and on instinct she swung out to hit him, but he caught her fist.

"We're not done here, Alex," he told her, staring at her with a frosty expression. Jerking her arm and hand loose from his grip, she glared at him, rubbing her arm where he had grabbed her too roughly.

"I'm well aware of that, Michael," she sighed, rolling her neck back and forth. She could already tell she would have one hell of a migraine later. She turned to head towards the door, but yet again Michael grabbed her arm. Elbowing him hard in the stomach, she yanked her arm away and gave him the coldest look she could manage.

"Then where... Are you going?," he grunted out, holding his ribs. "And what the hell was that for?," he demanded.

"_That_ was for doing _this_ to my arm," smiling frigidly, she lifted up the arm he'd grabbed and pulled down the sleeve exposing the red marks on her arm left by his hand. "As for where I'm going? Well since you _clearly_ won't leave me alone any time soon, and since I don't want a repeat of earlier in the hall, this conversation is being finished elsewhere. Got it?," Alex snapped at Michael.

Clearing his throat, Michael straightened from being hunched over, and nodded his head. "Fine. I have the perfect place in mind. We won't be harassed by anyone there and won't have Division spying on us thanks to Birkhoff's handiwork."

Looking skeptical, Alex questioned him, "Perfect place? Which is where exactly?" Smirking at her with a dark expression on his face, Michael calmly said two words.

"My apartment."

Feeling anxious, as she'd never been to his place before and wasn't sure how safe she would be there, Alex could only agree and follow Michael out of the building to his car. She dreaded the rest of the conversation, but knew she had no way to get out of it.


	5. Chapter 5 Save The Promises For Later

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Glad so many people are liking the story! Seriously this is by far the most popular one I've ever done. Thanks to all of you for all the loving you're showing it. I know some of you are like "Why hasn't she gotten to the elephant in the room yet?" aka Alex's secret, but I go where the story takes me, so it hasn't happened yet. Getting there though! Now then... Onto the next part. Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: No I do not own the characters of Michael, Alex, or anything to do with Nikita. This is just me expressing my love for the show.

**The Truth**

~**_Previously in The Truth_**~

Feeling anxious, as she'd never been to his place before and wasn't sure how safe she would be there, Alex could only agree and follow Michael out of the building to his car. She dreaded the rest of the conversation, but knew she had no way to get out of it.

**Chapter 5 - Save The Promises For Later**

On the drive to Michael's apartment Alex focused on avoiding looking his direction even as she could feel his stare burning through the back of her head at every stop light. While it was a surprisingly short drive between her loft and his apartment, the traffic was an utter nightmare providing Michael with the perfect opportunity to try and make her crack. Too bad for him, she knew his games and wasn't going to break any time soon. Feeling a twinge of pain course through her, she glanced down and gently rubbed at her arm. That was definitely going to bruise.

"I'm sorry," Michael sighed, as he smoothly turned into the parking lot for the apartment complex he lived at and pulled into a parking space, effectively bursting her thought bubble. Shaking her head to gather herself, she finally turned her head to look at him.

"What?," she asked, looking confused. He sighed and gently took her arm in his hands, careful not to touch the marks.

"I said... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-," he tried to apologize, but she wasn't having it. Quickly pulling her arm out of his hands, she cut him off.

"Oh save it, Michael. You wanted information and you didn't give a damn what you were doing to get it. It's how everyone in Division works. No feelings, no remorse, just cold and calculating robots who do what they have to do to achieve their goals," Alex snapped at him, jumping out of the car. She knew she was treading on dangerous ground, but couldn't stop.

"Alex, just -," Michael started to say something, but she whirled back towards him.

"You know what else? I was _abused_, Michael. I was used as a sex slave for _years_! Plus, when they weren't using me for sex, they were keeping me as high as a kite on whatever drugs they wanted, to keep me _weak_. No one saved me back then. I had no purpose, other than to do what they wanted me to do. I'm sure you already know all that though seeing as it's obviously in my _file_ _at Division_," she hissed through her teeth.

At this point, Michael could only sit there in shock and listen. He knew Alex could be brutal with her words at times, but this was a whole new level. Staring ahead of him, he saw the parking lot and remembered they were in a public area where anyone could come by and hear , at this time of day, the parking lot was deserted, but he knew it wouldn't be for much longer. Steeling himself, he took a deep breath and turned back to the young woman whose rage seemed to know no bounds.

"Maybe we should continue this inside?," he gritted out trying to get through to her, but he was starting to realize that once Alex got started on something, she wouldn't stop until she was finished. Proven by her ignoring what he suggested and continuing on as if he hadn't said a word.

"For another thing, you _actually_ think Division _saved_ me or gave me a second chance? Seriously? Division is _no better_ than the slave traders. They treat us like sheep, or better yet, dogs. They tell us do this, do that, act like this, or talk like that. Here you go Alex, wear this dress, shoot that person, and kill that one over there. We're expected to fulfill their every command, no questions asked. It's not a _second chance_! The only thing that's changed is instead of being pumped full of drugs and just being used for sex, I'm being used to _kill _people_ and to have sex _with them. Or did you forget that little incident where I had to pretend to be a _damn prostitute_?," she snarled at him, not caring what she was saying anymore._ "_So you know what, Michael? Save your fake apologies for someone else who's actually gullible enough to believe them. We both know you don't mean it. I'm not a naive little girl anymore, and I haven't been for a long time," Alex ended on a whisper breathing heavily, feeling completely worn out and defeated._ I can't do this much longer_, she thought, watching Michael's face change expressions in quick procession. _God, help me... I just can't_. She stared hard at Michael one last time, before weakly shaking her head and turning away, stalking off towards the building.

Still reeling from her outburst, Michael sat frozen in place shell-shocked until he realized Alex was already halfway across the parking lot. Jerking his door open, he quickly undid his seatbelt and leaped out, slamming the door behind him. He hurriedly pressed the button to lock the car and set the alarm system, before running to catch up to her. Noticing she was almost at the doors to the building, Michael cursed, and putting on one last burst of speed, cut in front of Alex causing her to jerk to a stop to keep from smashing into him.

Usually, Michael knew how to read people inside and out, knew everything they were thinking and feeling, but Alex... She was different, always keeping him guessing on what she'd do next. Even _Nikita_ had never been this difficult to figure out and that was saying a hell of a lot. The thought made him remember why they were here, but he had to find out what was wrong with Alex first. She was a total enigma. Michael knew she could be a spitfire, but he could feel something was off with her today. Gently grabbing her shoulders, he tried to get Alex to meet his eyes, only to have her stare at their feet instead. "Alex, look at me," he whispered.

Shaking her head, she angled her head to the side and kept staring at the ground. "Just leave it alone, Michael... Please," she mumbled, wanting him to drop it.

Now he _definitely_ knew something was wrong. Alex never said please for any reason, and never looked this beat down before. This time it was his turn to shake his head, and crouching down slightly he looked at Alex.

"No, not until you look at me. You can't fool me, Alex. I know something's bothering you. You can talk to me. You can trust me, you know that right?," he asked her softly, giving her a slight smile. Feeling her trembling, he rubbed her shoulders and upper arms gently trying to calm her down.

Biting her lip, Alex slowly met his gaze. Cautiously looking in his eyes, trying to figure out if he was telling the truth, she didn't see any hint of dishonesty or that he was lying. _He's all I have right now_, she thought. _Nikita isn't here right now and he's the only other person that seems trustworthy, but... He's part of Division. He knows how to hide everything he's thinking_. Her mind was racing trying to figure out what to do. _No. If I know Michael like I think I do, then I can trust him... I hope. Argh! I don't know what to do!_ Pursing her lips, she sighed and looked down at her feet again.

"I want to believe that, Michael. I do, but...," she trailed off. Alex was talking so quietly, Michael had to strain to hear her. Furrowing his eyebrows, he waited for her to continue, but she remained silent. Tilting her chin up with his fingertips, he looked at her with concern.

"But what?," he prompted. When she just stayed silent, he sighed and lifted his right hand to brush a strand of hair back behind her ear before returning it to his side. "Alex, I promise you there is nothing you can say to me that will make me hate you or betray your trust. I won't let you down," Michael tried to reassure her, but it only seemed to make things worse. Her mouth trembled and she lifted her hand up to grab his left hand under her chin and slowly bring it down between them. His hand felt warm... _Safe..._ she thought.

Taking a deep breath, she shakily told him, "Maybe you should wait to make any promises until after we finish our discussion." Weakly smiling at him, she gently released his hand and continued on to the doors trying to ignore how cold she felt without him around.

Leaving Michael standing in the parking lot, watching her with concern. _Alex... What are you so afraid of?_


	6. Chapter 6 Reality Bites

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Seriously, you people are amazing. This is easily the story I have ever had the most inspiration to write and you guys just keep giving me more with all the reviews and alerts and favorites and yea I'm rambling lol. Thanks for all the love and here's the next chapter!

DISCLAIMER: No I do not own the characters of Michael, Alex, or anything to do with Nikita. This is just me expressing my love for the show.

**The Truth**

~**_Previously in The Truth_**~

Leaving Michael standing in the parking lot, watching her with concern. _Alex... What are you so afraid of?_

**Chapter 6 - Reality Bites**

Michael managed to catch up to Alex at the elevator and pushed the button for the top floor, before leaning back against the railing on the wall and watching Alex standing opposite him. She wouldn't even remotely look his direction and it was obvious she was still upset.

Knowing they weren't going to get anywhere with anything if he didn't smooth things out somehow, he tried to figure out a way to cheer her up. _She's too on edge. There's no way she'll talk to me if she doesn't relax_, he thought and crossed his arms. _Maybe if I tell her something about me or about... No_, he shook his head at his own thoughts trying to shake the memory of his family from his mind. _I can't think about them right now. I have to help Alex_. Having her name pop up his head brought him back to the present, where he noticed Alex was looking at him strangely with her left eyebrow raised. Then, he realized he was whistling and snapped his mouth shut. Acting as if she hadn't just caught him, he innocently asked, "What?"

Raising her other eyebrow now, Alex skeptically asked him, "Were you... Whistling?"

Keeping his face completely neutral, Michael cocked an eyebrow at her. "I don't whistle, Alex. You must have imagined it," he smoothly told her. Alex stared at him for a minute before shaking her head.

"_Okay _then," she stretched it out before going back to staring at her shoes. Carefully watching her, Michael saw her mouth twitch and then she cleared her throat and pressed her lips tightly together. _Wait a minute_. He straightened up and examined her expression. _I wonder..._

Michael leaned his head back against the wall and started whistling again, keeping an eye on Alex to see her reaction. Sure enough her lips twitched again and it soon became obvious she was trying not to smile. _Aha! That's it!_, he thought before smirking smugly. Quickly thinking, he started whistling "Yankee Doodle" all the while watching her face.

Knowing she was smiling, Alex tilted her head forward so her hair covered her face. Yet she couldn't hide the fact that she was laughing when he started whistling faster and faster.

Cutting the tune short and pulling a straight face, Michael calmly asked, "You alright over there, Alex?"

Nodding her head frantically, Alex cleared her throat again and stood completely straight. "Yep. Nothing wrong over here. _Perfectly_ fine," she breezily told him, staring at him as if to prove her point. Watching his lips twitch into a smirk, she couldn't help it and started giggling. Once she started, it turned to full out laughing and eventually it became contagious with Michael bowing his head and shaking from his laughter. She was clutching her stomach from laughing so hard that by the time the elevator neared their destination she was clinging to the railing to stay upright.

When the elevator lurched to a stop it threw Alex off balance causing her to tip forward right into Michael. "Oof," he breathed out as she slammed into him, his arms shooting out to catch her before she could fall to the floor. "You okay?," he inquired.

Getting her giggles under control, Alex slowly stood upright with Michael's help and nodded before smiling at him. "I'm good," she told him, getting her breathing back to normal.

"Good," Michael whispered, staring at her with a grin on his face. When he smoothed her hair back from her face, she realized she was still holding onto his shoulders and, blushing, quickly brought her hands to her sides. Which wasn't that smart of an idea when she had pain shoot up her arm. She gasped and gritted her teeth quickly, but not before Michael saw her wince from the pain. He started to ask what was wrong, but she hastily stepped out of the elevator and wouldn't meet his eyes. Looking down, he saw her holding her arm closely against her side. _Damn it. How could I forget about that?_

Clearing his throat, Michael tilted his head to the left and said, "My apartment's this way, just at the end of the hall."

Alex nodded and followed him to his apartment. When he unlocked the door and gestured for her to go in first, she froze. taking a deep breath, she hesitantly stepped forward and peaked in the door before walking all the way in. Looking around the main part of the apartment, it was definitely not what she'd expected for Division's second-in-command. It was... _Normal..._ she thought. It was true, everything in the apartment actually resembled quite a bit of the furnishings and layout of her loft, looking like any normal human being's home. Yet, at the same time, it was classier. It was more... _Michael_. Remembering where she was, she turned to him only to see him watching her.

"Michael... Your place... This is amazing," she breathed out, smiling at him. Nodding his head in thanks, Michael put his keys on the counter.

"As you've probably noticed, the layout is relatively similar to the loft, same with all the Division apartments really, but I've done some adjustments," he explained, walking over to her to take her coat.

Hastily, undoing the buttons, she quickly pulled out her left arm, but when she did the same thing with her right arm, she sucked in a breath. _Crap, that hurts_, she cringed. She quickly tried to straighten out, but Michael had seen everything.

"Alex, let me take a look at that," he stated, concerned. Shaking her head, she put on a fake smile.

"I'm fine, Michael. Nothing's... Wrong," she gasped out, as pain shot up her arm again.

"Oh, really?," he asked, looking skeptical. Alex's arm throbbed again and she winced. Catching the look of pain, Michael moved fast and grabbed her arm, gently pulling up the sleeve. Running his fingers over her arm, he was careful not to press on any of the marks. Pressing his lips together in a thin line, he looked up at Alex. "Come with me," he whispered, and she was forced to follow since he still had hold of her arm. Leading her over to the kitchen, he stopped in front of a bar stool at the island in the middle of the kitchen. "Sit down and keep your arm still. Don't move," Michael ordered. He walked behind her and before she could stop him, he grabbed her gun and set it on the counter. "You brought your _gun_ with you? Really?," he asked, looking amused. She grinned sheepishly and shrugged her shoulders, only causing her to cringe again when her arm throbbed. Getting serious again, Michael said, "Stay right there," before getting something out of the freezer, then walking off down the hall.

Sighing, Alex closed her eyes and leaned her head on the counter top. "Michael, I'm _fine_," she stressed, when she heard his footsteps entering the kitchen again. "Really, you don't need to do-"

"This might sting a bit," Michael warned, cutting her off. Before she could comprehend what he was doing, he pressed an ice pack against her arm.

"Ah shit!," she hissed, jerking her head up to glare at Michael, before trying to pull her arm away. He pressed his hand down on her left shoulder and wouldn't budge.

"Sit. Still," he ordered, giving her a stern look before momentarily taking the ice off her arm. "I know it hurts, but if we don't do this now, it will hurt a hell of a lot worse later," he reasoned with her. Knowing she was in no shape to argue, she slumped her shoulders and held her breath as he placed the ice back on her arm.

Biting her lip to keep from crying out, she rested her head on the counter and squeezed her eyes shut, breathing in raggedly. Her left hand was gripping the counter so hard her knuckles had turned white.

Moving to stand beside her, Michael pried Alex's hand off the counter with his free hand and gripped it tightly in his own. "Just hang in there a bit longer, okay? Focus on taking deep breaths, it will help take the edge off," he instructed her. Gradually, her breathing evened out, and her grip loosened on his hand.

After waiting a few more minutes, Michael carefully lifted the ice off her arm. Placing it on the countertop, he gently rubbed her back in circles and briefly squeezed her hand with his own. Alex squeezed back and shakily lifted her head to look at him. Smiling sympathetically, he pushed her hair behind her ear.

"How's you arm feel now?," he asked her softly. Laughing shakily, she leaned her head against his shoulder and took a deep breath, relaxing when he briefly stroked her hair.

"Better," she answered. "It still hurts a bit, but I can move it without it throbbing in pain now. Thank you," she whispered, feeling exhausted. Everything happening lately was taking it's toll on her. Smiling bitterly, Michael looked down at their clasped hands.

"Don't thank me, Alex. I'm the one that caused the injury to begin with. If anything, you should be furious at me right now. I'm sorry it happened and that I hurt you. I didn't mean to do it. I was angry and my temper made me lose control," he apologized, letting go of her hand and pulling back from her. Frustrated with himself, he turned and grabbed the ice pack to put it away.

Watching his behavior and listening to what he told her, Alex knew that Michael was being sincere. Seeing him about to walk off, she grabbed his hand in hers again. "Michael, wait a minute," she insisted. He froze before slowly turning to face her. Noticing he wasn't looking at her, but down between them, she realized she was still holding his hand. _Again_. Her eyes widened and she quickly dropped his hand. Her reason for stopping him came back to her when she saw him cross his arms and furrow his eyebrows questioningly. Getting over the strange moment, she lifted up her bad arm and told him, "Don't worry about this, Michael, okay? I forgive you. I accept your apology. Case closed. If I know you as well as I think I do, then I now you didn't mean for it to happen. You scared the hell out of me earlier, and I lashed out. So don't worry about it," she told him honestly, keeping eye contact to show him that she meant it.

Michael still looked skeptical, so tiredly standing up, she stepped closer to him and grinned at him before saying, "Besides, I bet your ribs aren't too happy with me right now anyways." To prove her point, she very lightly pressed her left index finger where she'd hit him earlier, and in response he grunted. "So just consider us even, alright?," she demanded, exasperatedly. Exhaling loudly through his nose, Michael raised his hands up in surrender and finally relented... Albeit grudgingly.

"Alright, alright, we're even. Geez, you're stubborn," he grumbled, half-heartedly scowling at her.

Grinning broadly, Alex smugly told him, "Yeah, I know." Taking Michael by surprise, she reached up and hugged him. He went completely stiff and she snickered. "Look, I know you don't want to hear this, but... Thank you all the same," she whispered quietly in his ear, then resting her head against his shoulder, she finished with, "By the way, I'm not letting go until you relax. I'm a bit of a hugger, so get used to it."

Chuckling lowly, Michael sighed and wrapped one arm around her waist and raised his other hand to stroke her hair again. "Your welcome," he responded just as quietly, giving her a small smile when she raised her head to look at him. The nice moment was interrupted by her yawning and immediate blushing afterwards. Michael laughed before pulling back to say, "Wait here, let me put my jacket up and I'll get out some coffee." He smirked at her sheepish shrug as he slipped off his jacket and walked past Alex to hang it up on the coat rack. He froze and looked down when he heard something plastic hit the floor. Following his gaze to the ground, Alex realized what she was looking at... The security video from the mission

Alex gulped and not meeting his eyes, she bent down and grabbed the disc. Handing it back to Michael being careful not to touch him, she muttered, "And then we finish our discussion."

Frustrated, she ran her hand through her hair and turned around. "Back to reality_," _she muttered sourly. Peaking over her shoulder she saw Michael looking down at the disc clenched tightly in his hand. _No more living in a fantasy world, Alex_, she thought bitterly. _Reality just came back to bite you in the ass_.


	7. Chapter 7 Who I Am

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Right so, trying to stick to a relatively consistent update pattern here, and since I can't WAIT for new Nikita tomorrow night, I'm updating this little story of mine. Little story that has gotten so much love from you guys. This is a little tiny bit shorter than the last chapter, but I'm _pretty_ sure you guys will like it. Also, I'm not too sure yet how the editing system works, but if you get alerts for the earlier chapters, don't fret, it's just me putting in the disclaimer as well as snippets of earlier chapters for recaps. Thank you all so much! Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: No I do not own the characters of Michael, Alex, or anything to do with Nikita. This is just me expressing my love for the show.

**The Truth**

~**_Previously in The Truth_**~

Frustrated, she ran her hand through her hair and turned around. "Back to reality_," _she muttered sourly. Peaking over her shoulder she saw Michael looking down at the disc clenched tightly in his hand. _No more living in a fantasy world, Alex_, she thought bitterly. _Reality just came back to bite you in the ass_.

**Chapter 7 - Who I Am**

Feeling her anxiety from earlier returning, Alex carefully crossed her arms to avoid jarring her right one, and quickly walked to the tall windows in the living room, putting as much space between her and Michael as possible. Watching the people and the scenery, she found herself wishing she was out there living a normal life, rather than in here where her life was crumbling in pieces around her.

She'd been trained even as a kid to be prepared for situations like this, but the reality of it... The circumstances of it weren't the same. She'd been prepared to die or escape if Division ever found out, but she hadn't been prepared for _him_ to be the one doing the questioning. She hadn't been prepared for _Michael_ to be the one uncovering everything about her. She hadn't been ready for this at all.

Finding it hard to stand still under all the tension in the room, Michael ran his hand over his face feeling exhausted, and resting the disc on the island top, he walked over to the coffee maker and got out the bag of ground coffee. Setting everything up to get the coffee brewing, he turned and leaned back against the counter. His hands gripping the edge on either side of him as he watched Alex. Looking at her stance, Michael could tell she was back to being just as tense as before, only now she looked completely terrified. Bowing his head, he furrowed his eyebrows. _I need to do this. I need answers from her_, he thought determined, but glancing back up at Alex and then down at her arm, his determination faltered. _I just don't want to hurt her again in the process_. The coffee machine beeped and cut through his train of thought. Sighing, he turned and went to grab two mugs from the cupboard to pour the coffee in for Alex and himself. All the while wondering just how he was going to deal with this mess.

Alex could smell the coffee brewing and it relaxed her in a way, but at the same time it couldn't stop her worries. _He wants an explanation. He's not stupid, he wouldn't be Percy's second-in-command if he was. He knew I was lying earlier_, she thought nervously looking over her shoulder to see Michael looking in the cupboard. _What do I tell him then?... Can I really risk telling him the truth? Either way, even if he is trustworthy, he's still Division. Either way... Division killed my family... _

"Papa...," Alex whispered, lost in thoughts of her family. She snapped out of it when she felt a tear run down her face and reached up to wipe it away only for Michael to beat her to it. She looked away and hurriedly wiped her hands under her eyes when she realized her face was wet from tears. Clearing her throat, she looked back up at Michael and ignoring his concerned gaze, she pointed to the mugs in his hands and calmly asked, "Is one of those for me?"

Holding out the mug in his right hand, he closely studied Alex's face. Hesitating, he finally asked, "Alex, are you-"

Hastily grabbing the mug he offered, she interrupted him. "It's nothing, Michael. Don't worry about me." She went to walk past him, but he stepped in front of her.

Resting his hand on her shoulder he gently told her, "You crying isn't _nothing_, Alex. What's going on? What aren't you telling me?," Michael questioned, trying to get through to her. When she wouldn't budge, he tried a different approach by saying, "Alex, whatever is wrong, whatever is upsetting you, tell me. It's my responsibility to make sure the recruits and agents of Division are alright. It's my job to make sure _you_ are alright."

_I'm his responsibility? His job? Oh sure I'm to be kept safe. Until Division decides I'm of no more use to them. _Stiffening up, Alex scowled and shrugged his hand away. Glaring at him, she flatly told Michael, "I _said_ it doesn't matter. Even if it _did_, there's nothing you can do about any of it. You want answers? Fine, I'll tell you the truth, but you seem to have forgotten your _other_ duties in Division, Michael. The ones that involve you having recruits and agents cancelled if they don't follow orders. You might want to remember that next time before you go around spouting off crap about how it's your _job_ to make sure we're all okay. No, I'm not okay, Michael. _No one_ in that messed up organization is _okay_," she ground out through her teeth. She stalked past him and jerkily sat down on the couch, watching him over the rim of the mug as she finally drank the coffee to get some much needed caffeine in her system.

Feeling like they were going in circles, Michael finished his coffee in one gulp and walking over, roughly set the mug down on the coffee table before setting himself down on the table so he was directly facing her. Clasping his hands under his chin, Michael rested his elbows on his knees and just looked at her for a moment. He wasn't sure what the consequences for any of this would be, for either of them, but he had to know what she was keeping from him. Taking a deep breath, he exhaled and said, "Just tell me, Alex. Tell me all of it. Everything that's been going on. I'll figure out what to do about it after."

Searching his eyes, she knew he was serious, but had to take one last precaution before she told him anything. Taking a sip of coffee, she casually asked, "Do you have a gun on you? Any weapons whatsoever?" Michael's expression was almost comical with how far his eyebrows rose up on his head and how big his eyes got at the question.

"Excuse me?," he asked her, looking stunned. Smirking, she watched him fidget.

"You heard me, Michael. Do. You. Have. Any. Weapons. On. You?," Alex punctuated each word just to irritate him.

Looking perplexed, Michael demanded, "Why the hell does that matter? Yes, I have a gun on me, and my knife, but so does every agent in Division, Alex." She snorted and it only served to annoy him even more. "What?," he snapped at her.

Setting her now empty mug on the end table next to her, Alex crossed her arms and leaned back. "It _matters_, Michael, because unlike you, I'm not armed right now. My gun is in the kitchen, and as for a knife? Don't know where you got it, but not _all_ Division agents have one. You having those on you right now matters, because I'd rather not risk getting shot, and/or in this case stabbed, for what I'm about to tell you. Hand them over," she calmly told him.

While feeling beyond annoyed for being told what to do in his own apartment, Michael had to admit she was smart to ask that. Any situation like this could be deadly for the people involved if either one was armed. _She's a survivor_, he thought admirably. _She won't do anything without thinking it through_. The fact that she even asked him that though, also had him worried. What all was Alex hiding to cause her to be concerned about the possibility of getting killed? Knowing she wouldn't give an inch unless he did as she asked, he slowly leaned over and eased the knife out of his boot before holding it out to her, handle first. Alex took the knife from him and then held out her other hand expectantly.

Sighing, he grabbed his gun from under the back of his shirt and made sure the safety was on before holding it out between them. When she went to take it from him, he held on for a moment and whispered seriously, "Alex, you know I wouldn't shoot you. That I _couldn't_ shoot you. You have to believe that."

Meeting his gaze, Alex eased the gun out of his hand, and looking down at the weapons in her hands, she inhaled and stood up. Tilting her head to look at Michael, she simply told him, "Normally, Michael... Normally, I _would_ believe that coming from you, but you don't know my story yet. You don't know my past yet. There's also the fact that you answer directly to Percy for what happens. I'm sorry," she tiredly mumbled out, turning and walking over to the counter. Setting the knife down, Alex carefully took the ammo out of his gun first, and then out of hers. Holding the rounds in her hand, she turned around to watch Michael still resting on the table observing her. _He deserves more than this. More than Division. He deserves better_.Biting her lip, Alex added, "I do want to believe you, Michael, but I just can't take any chances right now."

Turning back around, Alex put the guns on the counter with the knife, before hiding the ammo in a drawer. Feeling her nerves start to overwhelm her, she pressed her hands on the counter, and leaning forward, she tiredly hung her head looking at the patterns of lines in the stone countertop._ He's going to hate me_, she thought bitterly. _He said nothing I did would make him do it, but he's completely going to hate me when he finds out. Finds out... God where do I even start? The whole thing is a mess on it's own... I guess... I start from the beginning. Even if it gets me killed, Michael deserves to know the truth_. As the thought entered her head, Alex finally found her resolve. "Please let me get through this," she whispered, and steeling herself she slowly walked back into the living room.

Noticing Alex returning, Michael straightened up and examined her. _So much for relaxed conversation_, he thought dryly. _Best to just get started then_. Once she was seated in front of him again, Michael exhaled and said three simple words. "Tell me everything."

Alex nodded in acceptance and wearily ran her hand through her hair. She hoped she could trust him. She _needed_ to trust him.

Holding his gaze, Alex finally started telling the truth again and began with, "As you know, I'm not originally from the United States, Michael. You know I was sold as a sex slave to some Russian criminals and that I was turned into a junkie, but you don't know _why_ I was sold into slavery or what happened before that. You know my cover name is Alex Winslow, but you don't know my real name. What you don't know... Is who I really am." She kept her voice steady even though inside she felt like she was wound tight as a knot. Since she'd been watching him while talking, Alex could tell she'd peaked his curiosity. _Please forgive me_.

Closing her eyes to ready herself, Alex took a shaky breath before meeting his eyes again and saying, "My name... My _real_ name... Is Alexandra Udinov. My father was Nikolai Udinov. He was the owner of the Zetrov Corporation in Ukraine." Hesitating, Alex watched as what she was telling him started to sink in and as his eyes started to darken at the realization of what it meant.

Michael felt like he'd just been hit in the chest. Or better yet, slammed into a wall. _No_, he thought firmly. _It can't be true. She can't be serious_. Shaking his head, he rasped, "Alex, what you're saying... It sounds like-"

Cutting him off and keeping her voice firm, Alex said five words that completed his sentence for him. Five words that told him the one thing he didn't want to believe. The one thing he didn't want to hear. Maintaining eye contact to show the truth behind her words, Alex revealed one of her secrets. One of her worst nightmares. Five. Simple. Words.

"Division killed my family, Michael."

Five simple words... That changed everything.


	8. Chapter 8 The Reason For Everything

AUTHOR'S NOTE: You guys amaze me. Sooo glad that you like the story so much! Now I honestly wasn't sure whether to separate this into two chapters, or just do one really long chapter for once. I considered splitting it, but it didn't sound right that way. Can't promise the next one will be this long. Hope you enjoy this! :) Thanks again!

DISCLAIMER: No I do not own the characters of Michael, Alex, or anything to do with Nikita. This is just me expressing my love for the show.

**The Truth**

~_**Previously in The Truth**_~

"Division killed my family, Michael."

Five simple words... That changed everything.

**Chapter 8 - The Reason For Everything**

To say Michael was in shock would be putting it lightly. Everything he thought he knew. Everything he suspected about her. None of it could prepare him for what Alex just told him. He could try and say she was lying, but he could see the pain in her eyes. Could hear it in her voice when she told him. Michael knew first hand what that pain was like. To lose your family in an instant. No one could fake that sort of pain and agony. _Alex_ couldn't fake that sort of pain and agony.

Not wanting to accept it as reality, but having no other choice, Michael bowed his head against his hands which he'd clenched so tight the skin was stark white on his knuckles. _Division ruined her life_, were the only words going through his mind.He couldn't blame her for hiding this secret. If Percy ever found out Alex's real past, she'd be dead. Period.

Michael knew she wasn't finished yet. He knew there was more she was hiding from him. More that he would probably end up wishing he'd never found out about in the first place. Yet he also knew she needed to tell someone before the weight of it all destroyed her. There was one last thing he had to know. He'd been aware of the mission when it happened, but didn't remember everything yet. Taking a deep breath, he looked up at her again and quietly asked, "How old were you? When it happened?"

Swallowing hard, Alex looked away and shakily whispered, "Thirteen... I was thirteen when they were killed." Feeling her eyes watering, Alex blinked hard and her fists were so tight she could feel her fingernails digging into the palms of her hands. She jumped when she felt a shock of warmth go through her as Michael carefully uncurled her fingers and clasped her hands in his. Meeting his eyes, he looked serious, but she could see concern.

Squeezing her hands, Michael gently said, "Tell me what happened, Alex. I know you're worried about what could happen if anyone found out. Just remember that the only people who know what's going on here are you and me, okay? Division can't hear us right now."

Alex pressed her lips in a thin line and tensely asked, "Are you sure you want to hear this, Michael? If I tell you the rest of it, it's not just me in danger anymore." With a determined expression on his face he nodded. Alex honestly wasn't sure she could handle reliving it again. Trying to stall, she gave him one last chance to back out. "I mean it, Michael. The fact that you even know my real name could be trouble for both of us," she warned, but he wouldn't give in on this. He couldn't afford to let this continue to eat at her. If it did, and she slipped up again like with the car bomb, it'd be over. Possibly for both of them.

Smirking to lighten the mood, he told her seriously, "Alex, you _know_ I don't always follow orders. If I did, we would be having an entirely different conversation right now." Then as an afterthought he added, "Probably in an interrogation room with Amanda standing over us like a vulture." She snorted at that and managed a small smile. Moving over, Michael sat at the end of the couch and leaned back against the arm rest to face Alex who had copied his movements at the opposite end and was now clutching a pillow to her chest. When she still hesitated to talk, he gave her one last push saying, "Tell me. I won't judge."

Inhaling, Alex gripped the pillow tightly and forced herself to talk about her past. Looking up at Michael, she told him, "Ever since I was a little girl, my father always watched out for me. He taught me how to survive on my own. Taught me how to light fires with rocks and sticks, how to survive in the forest... Everything. Another thing him and my mother were strict about was me practicing how to speak English, rather than speaking Russian. They said it would help me in the future. Papa said it was important for when my mother and himself were no longer around to protect me. At the time, I didn't think much about it, I just figured they were looking out for my best interest," she explained to Michael and shrugged, before looking down and whispering, "I never knew that they were preparing me for when they would be taken from me a few months later. That they were teaching me how to survive so adamantly because they knew they wouldn't be able to protect me anymore. That they would be killed."

It took Michael a minute to figure out what she meant by that. "Alex, are you... Are you saying they _knew_ a hit was going to be put out for them to die?," he asked, feeling stunned. Her reaction stunned him more.

Smiling bitterly, Alex met his gaze and muttered, "In Division, we always hear about how the targets are drug smugglers or arms dealers. That they're corrupt individuals who need to be dealt with properly. At the same time, we're always aware that there are a few innocents that get taken out at times because of what they know. I could try to say my family was innocent, Michael. I could say they never did anything wrong or hurt anyone, but even at thirteen I'd started hearing the rumors."

Michael had his focus on Alex, but his mind was racing with everything she'd told him. _How could they have known? The targets rarely, if ever know Division is after them_, he thought confused. Her last comment peaked his attention. Jerking his head up, he curiously inquired, "What rumors?"

Flopping the pillow down on her lap, Alex crossed her arms. Breathing deep, she scowled and said, "The _rumors_ that my father was a cruel man. That he was threatening people. That he was having people hurt and sometimes murdered... That he was killing them," she shakily rasped out. Trying to pull it together, she continued saying, "They started inside the company, whose new name of Zetrov was picked out by yours truly because my father said I had to since I would one day run the corporation as the only heiress to the family. I argued with Papa that day. I didn't _want_ to choose the name, I didn't _want_ to run the company. Not if it meant hurting anyone. People were scared of Papa and what he was capable of doing. They didn't trust him anymore. After hearing what people were saying, I didn't... I didn't want to become _him_," she stressed, whacking her hands on the pillow out of frustration. Bent over the pillow, she grasped her head in her hands and slightly tugged on her hair. "I _couldn't_ become him," she bit out, turning her head side to side in denial and feeling herself shaking.

Realizing that Alex was hyperventilating and close to having a panic attack, Michael sat up and reaching over, he pulled Alex into his arms. She latched her hands onto his shirt and her breathing was raspy. Holding her tightly, he rubbed her back soothingly and rocked her. "Hey, take it easy," he whispered. "Everything's fine, just calm down, Alex. You need to breathe, okay? Just focus on your breathing," he instructed softly. Alex nodded her head against his chest slightly and started trying to get her breathing under control. Still rocking her slowly, Michael stroked her hair. Feeling her breath still slightly erratic against his neck, Michael rested his head on top of hers and hugged her tighter. "Shhh. Just breathe," he soothed, "You're okay, Alex. You're safe. Nothing can get you here. I won't let anything happen to you," he whispered quietly, reassuring her as best as he could.

When she was finally calmed down and her breathing was normal, she realized she was covered in a sheen of sweat and her hair was sticking to her forehead. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath in and sighed it out, slowly opening her eyes again. Her fingers loosened their hold on Michael's shirt and she bit her lip nervously when she realized he was holding her wrapped up in his arms... In his lap. Blushing bright red, Alex cautiously tilted her head up to look at him.

Smiling slightly, Michael reached up and like before, he gently swept her hair back from her forehead before resting his arms around her again. "Hey there," he greeted softly.

"Hey," Alex replied, still blushing at the current arrangement. Staring into his eyes, she sat there for a moment and just took it all in. _He really does care_, she thought amazed. _Maybe I do have another person I can count on. Maybe... Maybe I don't have to do this on my own anymore. Nikita can only be there to help every so often. Michael is here __**now**_. Unable to stop herself, she squeezed him tight before pulling back and carefully easing herself off his lap, but not moving away from his side. Clearing her throat, Alex gripped his hand tight to ground herself. She knew she had to keep going.

Knowing now that this was a lot harder on Alex, than he originally thought it would be, Michael started to reconsider if they should really finish this right now or let it go for a while. "Alex, are you sure you can do this right now?," he asked concerned. "It's obvious this is difficult for you, and while I would like answers, I don't want them at the cost of putting you through hell by talking about it," he told her, looking worried. Not just about the secrets, but he knew he was worried about her period. Even if he couldn't admit it to her and _definitely_ not to Division, he had to admit it to himself. _Alex is special. She matters_. The thoughts slipped into his mind and he could do nothing but accept it. _She may act like Nikita, but she's special on her own. She's special to me_, was what ran through his head as he watched her lean against him, and he moved his left arm across his lap to thread his fingers of his left hand through her fingers on her right hand when she didn't let go after moving next to him.

It definitely wasn't following Division protocol to do it. None of this was really protocol though, so she did it anyway. Lifting her free hand up, Alex rested her hand on Michael's left cheek and leaning up, she quickly kissed him on his right cheek before pulling back and looking him in the eyes again. "Michael, I know you're worried about it, but I _have_ to do this. You deserve answers. More than anyone else, after everything you've done for me, you deserve to know the truth. Yes, I'm frigging terrified of what could happen. I'm not exactly ecstatic about the possibility that you could have me killed using that information, but... I have to trust you'll do what you think is right in the end," she admitted, looking so confident in him, it amazed him.

Tilting her face up to hold her gaze, Michael firmly told her, "You _can_ trust me, Alex. I know I've made mistakes, but you can trust me with this."

Alex glanced down at their entwined hands before looking up at him again to say, "Truthfully... Yes, I'm leery of talking about it because, honestly, it's bad. Really bad. So bad I've really never told anyone much about it. My past... It wasn't pleasant and even when I was high, the nightmares about it were unbearable," she admitted quietly. "There is a difference though," she continued softly, letting her hand fall from his face into her lap. Seeing the confusion on his face, she smiled and squeezed his hand, telling him, "The difference is I'm not alone. The difference is you're here with me and while it's dangerous to tell you, I'd rather tell you than have it forced out of me by Amanda who would follow Percy's method of wanting me cancelled, and asking questions after the fact." Pursing her lips, she nervously said, "I just hope you can forgive me after this."

"Alex, I already told y-," Michael tried to deny her last statement, but she wouldn't let him.

Pressing her hand against his mouth to shush him, she sadly told him, "And I told you to save the promises for later. Just let me do this okay?" When he grudgingly nodded his head, she took a deep breath and settled against his shoulder and the couch. Closing her eyes, she thought back to when she was thirteen. "I don't remember much of what happened, it's a bit foggy, but... They came after us one day when we were all at home. I guess three birds, one stone method. I was in my room listening to music when I started smelling smoke. Then I heard my mother screaming. I ran to the door to see what was going on, when my father came in and slammed it shut behind him, but not before I saw the house was on fire. The room was starting to burn, and Papa he told me... He told me to get under the bed and not make a sound. No matter what happened or what I saw. I'd just climbed under the bed, when someone broke down the door. Papa he... He tried to fight them off, but they were stronger than him," she was trembling slightly by this point, but she kept going. "I wanted to scream. I tried to, but the smoke was making it hard to breathe. I heard a gun shot go off, and... Papa fell to the floor in front of me. He reached out to me, but it was too late. Division had done their job. My family was dead, and all I have left of them is a watch Papa used to wear all the time," she rasped out shakily.

Michael wasn't sure what to think or feel anymore. Now he understood why Alex was so jumpy all the time. Why she was so defensive about everything. She never knew if someone was going to find out she was alive and come after her to finish the job. "So the story about your parents drowning in a car accident was the cover story for you to hide who you were," he stated more than asked, but she nodded anyway. That brought another question to mind. "If you were hiding who you were... Alex... How did you know Division existed? How did you know they were the ones who came after your family?," he asked getting suspicious.

Biting her lip, Alex avoided answering by saying, "I'll answer that in a minute. There's still some things you have to know first."

Michael narrowed his eyes at her for a moment. He was tempted to push her on the subject. He could tell she wasn't telling him everything. That she was leaving out some details, but he knew there was still more to go. Surrendering for the moment, he pulled his right arm tight around her shoulders and held her against his side, resting his head against hers to comfort her.

Squeezing his hand in thanks, Alex pressed on. "I never saw the face of the person who did it," she whispered. "I never saw the person who took them from me and only found out about Division a little over a year ago. All I remember about the person is the black boots. I wanted to run, but if I tried, they'd catch me. Eventually, the fire and the smoke became too much for me. My vision started to blur, and I couldn't breathe. I must have passed out because the next thing I remember is waking up when someone handed me off to my family's chauffeur driver, Dimitri. He told me he would keep me _safe_," she bit out, scowling at the memory. "That was a load of crap. Just a few days after hiding me at his home with his family, some men came to the door. I was hiding in the closet, when I saw the men hand money to him before Dimitri came to get me. I knew he'd sold me to the men, and he didn't deny it. He said that it wasn't safe for me to stay with him anymore. Told me how my life would be safe with the men and that from now on I was to go by Sasha because I'd be dead if anyone ever found out who I was. Which is ironic given the fact that I could be killed either way now since some people _do_ know who I am," she muttered, smirking at the thought.

Michael rubbed her shoulder in sympathy, and said, "_Well_ at least you're not alone in the get killed at any second bit. Right there with you thanks to Division." Alex jerked her head up at him and he laughed when he saw how big her eyes got. "What? Just because I work directly below Percy, it doesn't mean I agree with all their methods."

Alex raised her eyebrows even higher. She couldn't believe Michael had just admitted that so bluntly. Let alone to her, someone who was lower level than him in rank in that god forsaken company. _Maybe there's hope for him after all_, she thought, smiling wryly at him. "You're full of surprises, you know that?," she said shaking her head in amazement.

Momentarily releasing his hold on her, Michael ran his hand through his hair and cooly said, "Honey, you have _no idea_." Resting his arm back around her, he noticed Alex was frozen in place staring at him strangely. Smirking, he waved his hand in front of her face, thus snapping her out of it. Leaning down, he whispered in her ear, "Told you so." He then had to jerk back fast when she reached up to whack him in the head. He caught her hand and held it in his grasp again, nudging her with his shoulder. Growing serious again, he sincerely said, "I'm sorry about your parents, Alex. I know I can't fix it, but I'm sorry all the same."

Shifting uncomfortably at the memory, Alex nodded her head briefly in acceptance. Knowing it was time to continue, she started to get to the more recent secret, dreading how Michael would react. "The leader of the two men introduced himself as Vlad, short for Vladimir Ivanov, a Russian mobster and sex slave trafficker. They took me and forced me into a shipment container with other girls, some my age, some older and younger. They brought us here to the States and kept us pumped full of cocaine and heroine so we wouldn't escape. I was desperate and frightened so I attacked Vlad one day when he didn't expect it and got out about a year after they took me, which would be around 5 or 6 years ago from today. Most of those years are blurry mainly because I was strung out on any drugs I could get hold of after what Vlad did to me. I've only been clean for... Barely a year and a half now," she confessed, feeling disgusted with herself.

Now this really peaked Michael's interest... As well as his suspicions. "So you're telling me you found out about Division around the same time you got clean off the drugs?," he asked, watching her closely. She was fidgeting and wouldn't meet his eyes, but nodded her head yes. That made him start to feel tense. She'd been looking at him almost the entire time. It wasn't like her to avoid eye contact. "What aren't you saying, Alex?," he demanded, furrowing his eyebrows. Lightly pulling on her hand to get her to look at him, he asked, "What are you still hiding?"

_Here we go_, Alex thought anxiously, then frowned. _Ugh, what's wrong with me? It's just Michael, my mentor, my trainer. Why should I care what he thinks?_ She wanted to slap herself for how affected she was by worrying about what he would think. She never cared what people thought about her before. This was different though... _He_ was different. She didn't like it, but she knew she cared about him a lot more than she should. Slipping her hand from his, Alex stood up and walked over to the dining table.

Turning around she leaned back against a chair with her hands gripping the knobs at the top. Looking up, she just watched Michael for a minute. She was hoping this wouldn't ruin everything, but was already feeling like once she was done talking, they were done with everything. Shutting her eyes against the hurt feeling that ran through her, she steadied herself. Looking up at Michael she set her jaw, and said, "You're right... To think I'm still hiding something. You're right, Michael," she said, bluntly. "What I didn't mention was that I wasn't alone when I got clean. Someone found me, they took me in. Not exactly with my cooperation, but they got me off the drugs. They told me they knew who had killed my parents. They knew who did it because the people who killed my parents were the ones who took away everything that they loved, every_one_ that they loved." Smiling sadly, she saw Michael's expression darkening as the pieces started coming together. "Until a year and a half ago, Michael, I never knew how I escaped the fire that burned down my family's home. I never knew who saved me that day, who would risk their life for mine," she shrugged helplessly. Looking at her feet, she quietly admitted, "Who would think that I mattered enough to keep alive."

He didn't want to see it. He didn't want to know where this was heading, but the points were leading right down that road. The facts were right there in front of him, but Michael didn't want them. Not this way and not with that ending. He kept quiet even as Alex revealed everything to him. Everything that happened, everything she was feeling. At this moment, Michael really didn't know what to say, but he was hoping beyond belief that she wouldn't say what he thought she was going to. _It can't be her_, he thought adamantly. _It can't be Alex_. Her voice cut through his thoughts, bringing him back to the conversation. The one he wished he'd never started.

Pushing her fears aside, Alex threw out the last secret. Her last piece of her past. Her most important and the one that could mean her death sentence immediately. Squaring her shoulders, she held eye contact with Michael. "There's a reason why I progressed so fast in Division, Michael. The reason I knew how to handle the weapons, how to use the computers, and how to fight. Hell! The reason I knew how to keep under the radar with Amanda!," she exclaimed, counting things off with her hands before tiredly letting her arms drop to her sides. "There's a reason my nickname there became Nikita 2.0, Michael," she whispered. Taking a deep breath, she confessed, "The reason is that the person who saved me as a child. The person who got me clean a year and a half ago. The person who told me about Division... Is one person we both know very well. You just never knew about it."

His mind was reeling, but he was stuck in place. Michael was dreading what she was going to say, but he already knew. The person she was talking about. There was only one person who could have known Alex was alive because they were on the mission all six years ago. One person who really had lost everything to Division. The person that he knew, or at least used to know, inside and out. The person, well one of the people, that he would never be able to kill. Watching Alex, Michael saw it in her eyes. The sincerity, the fear, everything she felt. He also saw the determination. _How did I not see it?_, he shook his head confused and angry, then sighed defeated. _I didn't __**want**__ to see it_.

When Michael looked up at her again, Alex knew the conclusion he'd come to. She couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling now. He'd shut himself off from her completely, but she had to say it anyway. She had to put it all out there. _No more secrets_, she thought determinedly. Steeling herself for the backlash, she calmly told him, "The reason I'm called Nikita 2.0, the reason I know about division, and the reason I'm still alive... The person behind all of it, Michael... That person is Nikita."


	9. Chapter 9 Where Do We Go From Here?

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, I certainly got inspired a LOT the past two days. Had been stuck for a while, but then yesterday bam this thing just started cranking itself out of my head. Not as long as the previous monster of a chapter, but I think you'll like it. Thanks for all the reviews and subscriptions everyone! Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: No I do not own the characters of Michael, Alex, or anything to do with Nikita. This is just me expressing my love for the show.

**The Truth**

~_**Previously in The Truth**_~

Steeling herself for the backlash, she calmly told him, "The reason I'm called Nikita 2.0, the reason I know about Division, and the reason I'm still alive... The person behind all of it, Michael... That person is Nikita."

**Chapter 9 - Where Do We Go From Here?**

Tick... _How could she do this? Everything she's said before now has been a lie_.

Tock... _She had good reason to do it! Division killed her family, moron_.

Tick... _Alex is working with Nikita... She lied to me to protect Nikita. Was she ever going to be honest with me? Would I have ever known if I hadn't confronted her?_

Tock... _You know she would've told you eventually! It's Alex! You know who she is no matter what her name is!_

Tock... _I __**thought**__ that I knew her. How much of what happened has been a lie? When has she been sincere and when was she lying? Where do I fit into the plan? Was I just another pawn in Nikita's game?_

"Were you using me?" Michael blurted it out before he could stop himself. He had to know the answer. Even if he didn't want to hear it.

Alex had been tugging on her hair, nervously watching Michael for a reaction. It'd been so quiet in the room since she mentioned Nikita. She could feel the tension coming off him and it was making her jittery. He hadn't moved for about ten minutes. Jumping at his abrupt question, she narrowed her eyes at him confused. "Excuse me?"

Squaring his jaw, Michael angrily walked right up to her and hissed, "Were. You. Using. Me?"

Her mouth falling open in shock and hurt, Alex stared at him wide-eyed. _He really thinks I'd use him? As if none of this mattered to me? _Outraged, sheexclaimed, "Of course not! My god, Michael, I'm not Percy! I don't use every person I come in contact with. You _know_ I'm not like that!"

Bitterly smirking at her, he shook his head. "See that's the thing, Alex. I _don't_ know that. Not anymore. I _thought_ I knew who you were. Thought I knew almost everything about you. Then I find out you've been lying to me the whole time you've been in Division. That you've really been working with Nikita this whole time. So I really don't know what to think anymore. Did any of this mean _anything_ to you?" Michael knew he was being cruel. Knew that Alex might be sincere right now, but his anger at the whole damned thing wouldn't let go. Anger at himself for being so foolish, and at her for not trusting him. For keeping this a secret from him for so long. For working with the one woman who'd screwed things up for him so many times in the past. _Why did it have to be her?_

She'd been prepared for the anger. Been expecting it really, but it still hurt. Coming from him, it hurt a hell of a lot. Biting her lip, she looked towards the windows. "You said you wouldn't judge," was all she could think to say and even then it came out as a whisper.

Freezing up, Michael laughed cruelly and said, "Why would I need to judge, Alex? You've been doing plenty of that for the both of us." He saw her flinch, but kept going. "Were you ever going to tell me about this? If I'd never confronted you about it? Were you going to tell me?"

Closing her eyes, Alex bowed her head and whispered, "I don't know."

He leaned forward, acting as if he hadn't heard her. "I'm sorry, what was that? Can you speak a little louder?"

Snapping her head up, Alex glared at him. "I said I don't know, alright? I don't know what I would've done. I don't know what I would've told you, Michael. I just don't know!" she yelled, walking past him. He may as well have physically hit her if he wanted to hurt her as bad as he did in the next instant.

Turning to follow her with his eyes, Michael crossed his arms and sharply said, "You don't know? Really? _You don't know_? If I'd never confronted you, but you found out that I knew your secret what would you have done, Alex? Would you have shot me? Was that why you shot Thom? Did you shoot him because he found out your secret and became a liability? Did he mean anything to-"

Whipping around, Alex slapped him across the face. "Don't you ever, EVER, say anything to me about Thom! You didn't know him, Michael! He was your recruit, but you didn't know him like I did! _No one_ knew him like I did!"

It had slipped out without thinking. He wanted to shoot _himself_ for saying it, but it wouldn't do any good now. Guilt and regret filled him as he saw the pain filled expression on her face and the tears in her eyes. Reaching out to her, he tried to rest his hand on her shoulder. "Alex... I'm sorry I-"

Stepping back out of his reach, she shook her head. Feeling the tears sliding down her face, Alex looked at him. "Thom meant _everything_ to me, Michael. He was one of the only friends I had in that hell hole. Maybe he was my only friend," she muttered, looking pointedly at him. Running her hand through her hair, Alex squeezed her eyes shut and bowed her head. "It doesn't matter...," she whispered. "That night... He found out what was going on and tried to stop me. I knocked the gun away, but... We fought each other and both grabbed for the gun. We were wrestling over it and I... I accidentally pulled the trigger. It killed him... Thom died because of _me_. He died because _I_ shot him. I _shot_ my _friend_ and he thought I never cared about him. He thought he meant _nothing_ to me, Michael. Thom always looked out for me since the beginning and he died thinking he didn't matter!" she yelled at him, hating him for reminding her of that night, but hating herself more for what she did.

Starting to feel claustrophobic, Alex quickly walked towards the front door. "I have to get out of here," she wheezed feeling frantic. Reaching up she grabbed her things off the coat rack. Jerking her coat on, she ignored the pain it caused her arm and grabbed her purse. Pulling on her hat, she shoved the gloves in her purse. Jumping, she shrugged off Michael's hand when he touched her and grabbed for the door only for him to block her going through it.

"Alex... Wait," he whispered. Michael knew he couldn't let her leave like this. Thinking of him the way she did now. Thinking that he was heartless. He had crossed the line and wasn't sure how to undo it. She wouldn't look at him anymore and it felt like a stab to the chest. "Alex, please just wait. I'm sorry about what I said. It was out of line and uncalled for," he apologized, almost pleading for her to stay. When she finally looked at him, she looked blank. No emotion, no reaction, just... Nothing. Dead. _He_ had done that to her.

"It doesn't matter anymore, Michael. Look, do what you want with what I told you. Tell Percy, don't tell Percy. Have me cancelled, don't have me cancelled. I give up, I don't care anymore. All that place has brought me is more pain and suffering. I have to live with what I did to Thom and what I did to you. Killing him and hurting you... I never wanted to do that. It just doesn't matter anymore," she shakily whispered and ducked under his arm to get out the door. Hesitating, she made a split second decision and turned around to face him. Biting her lip, she took a deep breath. "Just... If you turn me in just do one last thing for me... Tell Nikita I'm sorry that I let her down. That I'm sorry I let everyone down," she pleaded, before quickly turning and running for the stairwell.

"Alex wait!" Michael called after her, but it was too late... She was already gone. He could try to catch her, but in the state she was in, he knew that if she didn't want to be caught then she wouldn't. One of the qualities she had in common with Nikita, and if he was being honest, it was one thing he respected about her. She knew how to stay alive. Sighing, he hung his head and shut the door. Turning, he slammed his fist against the wall before leaning his head on both fists. "Stupid, _stupid_ idiot," he ground out between his teeth. "_This_ is how you get her to trust you? Reminding her of the things she wants to forget? Damn it!" he yelled angrily. Banging his head against his hands, he took two deep breaths to calm down and try to figure out a way to fix this. If there _was_ a way to fix this.

She knew she could've taken the elevator, but Michael could easily catch her that way, and she knew if she stopped moving for one minute that she would collapse. It was just too much. All of it was too much to handle. Running outside, Alex looked around to get her bearings and dashed towards the direction that would take her home. "Just keep moving, Alex," she panted to herself. "You can't fall apart now. Just keep moving. Just get back home." _What home?_, passed through her mind, but she shoved the thought away and kept going.

Walking through his apartment, Michael put the mugs in the sink and straightened up the couch. Remembering a favor he'd called in, he searched for his phone, and once he spotted it, grabbed it to call Birkhoff. Rubbing his hand across his forehead, he pinched the bridge of his nose as he waited for the tech wizard to pick up. He could already feel a migraine coming.

"Yello," came the response from the other end of the call. Tech wizard was perky today apparently. _Wasn't it early?... Who the hell says "yello"?_

Looking at the time on his phone, Michael was surprised to see it was around 7A.M already. Had it really been four hours? Was Alex really here _that_ long? _She would've been here longer if you hadn't screwed up, moron._

"Helloooo... Michael? You there?" Birkhoff inquired, jolting Michael back to the present and irritating him more.

"What the hell has you so chipper today?" he grunted in response. "New comic book come out or something?"

"_Geez_, Mikey, what got you all ruffled up? Alex do something you didn't like?" he asked suggestively. Michael growled and Birkhoff cleared his throat. "Sorry, not appropriate or funny. To answer your question, yes, a new comic did come out. No need to be rude about it." He grunted again in response and Birkhoff sobered up. "Seriously, man, what's up? Things not go as you planned?"

Running his hand through his hair, Michael dug his fingers into his neck to ease tension. Did the world hate him today? Oh wait, the world took away his wife and kid, and he just found out Alex was working with _Nikita_. The world hated him _every_ day. "_Things_ are none of your business or concern, Birkhoff. I was just calling to let you know you can _undo_ what I asked you to do earlier. Will probably be like that for quite some time."

Whistling to himself, Birkhoff wondered what the hell had happened. Michael never got _this_ agitated unless Nikita did something. Shaking his head, he banished the thought. He knew it wasn't his place to ask. Michael did things his way and didn't like when others interfered. Especially others that were in Division. Couldn't blame him for it really. Just because Division kept them alive, and gave them just about everything, it didn't mean either of them particularly liked the place. That or the thought of getting killed for not being a perfectly obedient pet. Rolling the office chair over to his laptop, he quickly pulled up the program and reconnected the network, removing any trace of the down time from the data log. "Done and done, buddy," he chirped into the phone and smirked when he heard Michael grumbling at his tone. "Yeah, yeah, Mikey, keep complaining. Just did you and I both a favor with that and you damn well know it."

Clenching his jaw, Michael inhaled through his nose to keep his cool and nodded even though Birkhoff couldn't see it. "I know, I know. You're the 'Tech God.' Blah, blah, blah, I get it," he muttered. The other thing he'd been meaning to ask came to mind and he grew serious again. "Percy didn't suspect anything, did he?" The rest of what Birkhoff had said finally processed and growling again Michael hissed, "We. Are not. _Buddies_."

Snickering, Birkhoff made a note to thank Alex for whatever she did to make it so easy to get under Michael's skin today. It was way too _easy_. The man was giving him openings left and right. Knowing now wasn't the time to push him though, Birkhoff merely replied, "Whatever you say, dude." Getting serious himself, he double checked the data trail and finding nothing, sighed pleased with himself. "Don't worry about Percy either. If he wanted to find anything, he wouldn't be able to. The information has been totally wiped from the data log and anything that would look suspicious has been adjusted. Everything looks normal and that's all he'll see no matter what he does to it. We're golden. That all you needed?"

Groaning at Birkhoff's names for him, he wondered if he should've just done it all himself. Michael had to admit though, that if he wanted a network to be spotless and impenetrable, Seymour Birkhoff would be the one person he'd want on his side. Momentarily feeling relief that at least one thing went right, he let out the breath he'd been holding. "Yeah, man, that's all I needed. See you later." He went to hang up, but grudgingly stopped himself. "Oh and Birkhoff?"

"Yesss, Michael?" Birkhoff responded, dragging out the "s" cause he knew it would irritate Mr. Broody, named Michael.

"Thank you," Michael mumbled into the phone. He could practically hear Birkhoff preening at his own genius through the phone.

"Anytime... Buddy," Birkhoff laughed out in return. At that, Michael ended the call and stared at the phone with a bizarre look.

"Seymour Birkhoff... Computer genius... Utterly weird human being." Setting the phone on the counter, his gaze caught on the light glinting off something out of the corner of his eye, and turning his head, he saw his knife sitting on the counter where Alex had placed it earlier. Stretching out his hand, Michael carefully lifted the knife and looking at it, all he could think of was Alex.

It may have been a short drive here from her place, but it was quite a bit longer on foot. Especially when she felt like she was running from everything she knew. Her lungs were burning and her legs were practically screaming in pain, but Alex wouldn't stop... She couldn't. A few painstakingly long minutes later, she spotted the doors to her apartment complex and would've sighed in relief if she wasn't so focused on keeping it together. _Get inside. Get home._ Repeating these words over and over, she used all the energy she had left and sprinted into the building and up the stairs, thanking everything she could that no one was in the lobby or in the hallway on her floor. Fumbling with the keys in her purse, she yanked them out, and jammed them into the lock forcing the door open. Quickly moving inside, she slammed it shut and put the locks in place, before falling back against the cool wood and sliding to the floor, gasping for air. "Made it," she wheezed exhausted.

Resting her head against the wood, her chest was heaving from the erratic pace of her breathing and Alex briefly wondered if she was about to get sick. She didn't know how long she sat there, but her phone buzzed, startling her. Pulling it out she saw that she had a text message from Nikita. Opening the message, she cringed when reading it.

'**Everything okay? Couldn't reach you earlier. - N**'

Scrolling through the list on her phone she realized Nikita had tried calling her a few times. Still breathing heavily she carefully typed a reply, having to correct herself a few times due to her hands shaking.

'**Sorry about that. Phone was in my purse on vibrate. Had a rough night, not much sleep. Going to take a nap now. Talk later? - A**'

She knew it didn't sound very assuring. Nikita probably wouldn't buy it at all. Alex just hoped that she'd let it go for now. Her phone buzzed again and she nervously opened the message.

'**Agreed. Will talk later... You know you can talk to me if something's bothering you, right? Whatever it is we can fix it. - N**'

"Oh Nikita, if you only knew," she rasped out quietly. Steadying her hands, Alex typed a response.

'**I know. Thank you. Going to sleep now. Later. - A**'

Not wanting anymore contact with the outside world right now, Alex turned off her phone. Still wheezing slightly, she shoved the phone back in her purse, her arms tiredly flopping down by her sides. _Just breathe, Alex... Just. Breathe._

He couldn't help himself. Michael had to try to talk to her. Setting the knife down in front of him, he tapped his fingers on the counter before deciding. Grabbing his phone, he took a chance, speed-dialed her number, and waited. "Pick up. Come on, Alex, pick up." It was no good though. It just sent him straight through to voicemail. Ending the call, he sat on the barstool and stared at his knife. "How do I fix this?" he muttered. Gripping his head in his hands and yanking on his hair, he sighed in frustration. _Where do we go from here?_

Lifting a trembling hand, Alex undid her coat and threw it on the small table next to the door. Yanking her hat off, she threw it on top of her coat, before shakily supporting herself on her arms and standing up. Walking on wobbly legs, she made it to her bedroom, threw the purse on the chair by her bed and just looked around at everything there. Most of it had been given to her from Division. Barely any of it was really hers. Her pulse stopped pounding in her ears, but she didn't want it to. If she couldn't focus on that, then the thoughts would come. Thoughts of what she'd done to Thom, to Michael, and now most recently, how she'd just _completely_ betrayed Nikita by revealing their secret. When that hit her, she felt her legs give out and slid to the floor in shock. "It's over," she whispered. "It's really over. Michael knows about everything now. He knows about me and about Nikita... Everything." _He knows, but at what cost? What else have you lost from it?_

Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to fight off the images brought to mind. Images of Thom and her hanging out together. Of them having fun as much as they could in Division. Images of the night Thom died. Then came the images from earlier. Of what Michael's face looked like when she told him everything. So cold, so mad and so completely _betrayed_. The consequences slammed down on her and she forced down the panic as thoughts of what could happen to Nikita cause of it entered her mind. What would Nikita think of her now?

Weakly crawling onto the bed, Alex was overcome with the memories. Her vision was blurring and she was finding it hard to swallow. Eventually, it became too much and choking, she collapsed on her side, wrapping her arms around her knees sobbing. "Thom... Nikita... Michael... I'm sorry," she gasped out between sobs. Whimpering, she gripped her legs tighter and curled up as small as she could. "I'm so sorry."


	10. Chapter 10 The Envelope

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Man, I never get tired of reading all your reviews people! Seriously, I can't put into words how awesome it is, and how amazing it feels knowing so many people love this story. Decided I'm not going to deviate _too much_ from the plot trail of the series at the moment like the key events, but once I get to what would happen after the dream sequence of Echoes, I'm doing things my way. Plus there will be quite a few alterations in-between. One being the Nathan thing... Seriously, the guy would probably be great in another lifetime for Alex, but he doesn't get her now. Doesn't get the _real_ Alex. _Anyways_, onto the new chapter! The longest one yet actually lol. Can't promise the next one will be this long, but it could be for all I know. Just depends where the muse takes me. Enjoy! :)

DISCLAIMER: No I do not own the characters of Michael, Alex, or anything to do with Nikita. This is just me expressing my love for the show.

**The Truth**

~_**Previously In The Truth**_~

Weakly crawling onto the bed, Alex was overcome with the memories. Her vision was blurring and she was finding it hard to swallow. Eventually, it became too much and choking, she collapsed on her side, wrapping her arms around her knees sobbing. "Thom... Nikita... Michael... I'm sorry," she gasped out between sobs. Whimpering, she gripped her legs tighter and curled up as small as she could. "I'm so sorry."

**Chapter 10 - The Envelope**

It felt like she'd been laying there forever. For all she knew, she had been. Even though she told Nikita that she was going to get some sleep, she couldn't. Alex didn't know what to do anymore. What to think... What to feel. The tears were gone. Had been for a while. It was like she'd run out of tears. She didn't know if she could cry even if she wanted to now. All she felt... Was numb. Empty. So very cold. Shivering, she bundled up in the blankets and rolled over to glance at the time on her alarm clock. _Noon... Over five hours... Somehow I'm still alive_.

Blinking blearily at the flashing neon numbers, she sighed and rolled onto her back. "What do I do?" she mumbled weakly. _I could run... Nikita would understand, she'd help me escape. I could be half way around the world and no one would know until it was too late, but... _"Michael would hate me more than he already does." Running her fingers through the knots in her hair, she folded her left arm under her head and frowned. "God, what would Nikita think of me? She'd be sympathetic and supportive, but I'd be destroying the plan." Groaning, she whacked her fist on the bed angrily. "I'm not a coward damn it! I don't run when things get scary. I can't afford to. Division has to pay for what they did, but... Where does Michael fit into it? I can't hurt him... Kill him... I won't." _Therein lies the problem. He __**is**__ the problem_. "Nikita was right."

Jerking upright, she held her head in her hands, mumbling, "She said that I'd start caring about the people in there. That I would get attached. I wasn't supposed to get attached to _him_. Feelings make things messy. They make things dangerous for everyone involved." Snorting, she laughed darkly and whispered, "Not like it really matters anymore. The secret's out now and I could be cancelled at any minute. _Dangerous_ is what my life has been since day one."

Glancing over at her purse, she debated leaving her phones off, but remembered Division had strict orders to keep it handy at all times in case they needed her. Wrinkling her nose at the idea, she unwillingly leaned over and dug the phone out of her purse. Taking a shaky breath, she pressed the power button and waited for the screen to load. "_Please_ tell me they didn't call. Please, please, please tell me they didn't call." Blowing the fringe bangs out of her face she was relieved to see no message from Division, but frowned upon seeing the missed call from Michael. "Whatever he wants can damn well wait," she grumbled. Digging into her purse again, she pulled out the _Nikita_ cell phone and muttered, "Time to return to the real world, Alex." Waiting for it to power up, she was glad to see Nikita had respected her wishes, but she knew that Nikita probably had a reason for trying to reach her earlier. Shifting her mouth to the side, she reached over to the nightstand and pulled out the jamming device. Turning it on, she speed-dialed number 2 on the phone and waited.

Walking back into the lair, Nikita just started checking the latest feeds on the computer when her phone beeped. Turning on the seat of the stool, she pulled the phone out of her coat pocket and glancing at the ID, she accepted the call. "Hey, Alex. What's up? You feeling better?" She tried not to sound too concerned. She knew Alex, and knew how defensive the girl could get. If she pushed too hard, the girl pulled back twice as much.

Sitting wrapped in the blankets, Alex cringed and hesitated for a moment. _Do I tell her yet?,_ she wondered, but shook her head. _No, I have to figure this out on my own first. I won't put her at risk too_. Clearing her throat, she flatly responded, "Found out the apartment is bugged, so I turned on the jammer you gave me. I'm sorry about earlier. Like I said, things have just been really rough today. I could say I'm doing better, but you know me Nikita. I can't exactly lie to you."

Frowning, Nikita pulled the phone away and stared at it for a moment. Turning to face the computer monitor, she pulled up the tracker program and pulled up the information for Alex. When it loaded she was glad to at least see that Alex was safely at home. That didn't solve the problem though. Since when was Division spying on her? "You're place is bugged? How do you know? What happened, Alex? If you don't want to talk, I get it, but if you tell me I can try to help. Keeping secrets never ends well."

Scowling, Alex shook her head at the irony of what Nikita had just said. "You're one to talk," she muttered sourly.

Eyebrows shooting up her forehead, Nikita kept cool. "What's that supposed to mean, Alex? You know I do what I have to do to keep you safe." _Where is this coming from?,_ she wondered. She heard Alex mumble something and snapped back into the conversation asking, "What was that?"

Alex groaned at Nikita's damn perfect hearing. "I said I know you do, but you also keep a hell of a lot hidden from me, Nikita. I deserve to know what's going on. All of it." _Nikita deserves the same thing though. She's in as much trouble as I am_. Shaking her head, Alex pushed that aside for now when Nikita responded.

"Alex, I keep things from you to _protect_ you. I have my reasons for not telling you some things. For not letting you know about what happens all the time. I don't like doing it. I hate not being totally honest, but if keeping you in the dark for a while keeps you alive a little longer then that's what I have to do," Nikita calmly explained with an edge to her voice.

Wincing at Nikita's tone, Alex sighed and leaned her forehead on her left hand resting her elbow on her knees. "I know... I'm sorry, Niki. I know you just want me to be safe. Things are just all over the place right now. _I'm_ all over the place right now. Can we please just drop the subject for the moment? I can't deal with it. Not yet," she whispered glumly. _Hopefully, you'll understand why I did it when you do find out_.

Closing her eyes, Nikita tilted her head back and took a deep breath. This girl would drive her nuts with worry, she swore she would. Exhaling she replied, "Okay, Alex. We don't have to discuss it right now. Just promise you'll tell me when you're ready to talk about it. I'll help you any way I can."

"I promise, Nikita," Alex agreed immediately, wanting to talk about something else already. _Not like I know if I'll even be alive to finish that conversation_. Looking over at herself in the mirror, Alex quickly looked away again after seeing how ragged she looked at the moment. Getting back to the conversation at hand, she remembered the reason for contacting Nikita to begin with. "_Anyways_, I found out about the devices from Michael. He accidentally slipped up and mentioned how all the agents apartments all have audio listening devices in them now. I set the jammer to block the signal, but allow the cell signal through so we could talk. I was wondering what you were trying to reach me about earlier? You need me to do something?" she inquired curiously.

Shaking her head even though Alex couldn't see it, Nikita answered in the negative. "No nothing like that. No sabotaging at the moment. Just wanted to arrange the meeting to swap out these burner phones for new ones since the change over time is coming up. Figured we'd meet up on Valentine's Day if that's alright? It won't seem abnormal to Division if you're out and about the city a lot that day, and when you get here I can just rig the tracker program to make it look like you're at home. Sound good?"

Looking at the date on her watch, Alex couldn't believe it was almost Valentine's Day already. _The holiday for __**couples**_. Grimacing, Alex banished the thought. "Sounds fine to me. So in 2 days, I come to the lair and we do the swap. Need anything else?" she asked to be polite, but hoped the call would be over soon.

Smiling a little at Alex's attempt at being polite, Nikita simply said, "No that was all I needed. Everything's fine here." _Is everything fine there though?_ Watching the tracker blinking on the computer screen, Nikita couldn't help but wonder what Alex wasn't saying. "Look... Alex, whatever is going on... I'm sure it will all work out in the end. You're a smart girl and I'm sure you'll find a way to fix whatever it is. Just know, that if you need me, I'm just a phone call away."

Sucking in air between her teeth, Alex pressed her lips together. "Thanks, Niki... Its good to know someone cares," she admitted softly. _You just wish a certain someone else cared too_, her mind prodded gently, but she ignored it. Stretching, Alex rolled her head from side to side and stood up. "Ok, well I'm off to take a shower or something." Sniffing her clothes, she wrinkled her nose in distaste. "Scratch that. I'm _definitely_ going to take a shower. Bye Nikita," she chirped into the phone.

Forcing a laugh for Alex's benefit, Nikita replied, "Sounds like a plan to me. Smart thinking on the jammer. Better that we know about it now. I'll come by when I can and check out how bad it is. Until then, use the jammer when necessary. As for right now, just take some time for yourself and relax, Alex. You've earned it." Yet on the inside, all Nikita could think about was whatever had the girl so wound up. She _knew_ something was wrong. The question was what was it? _I'm here, Alex. Whenever you need me. I just hope you really know that_.

Nikita and Michael both had something in common other than their past with each other. Alex. That girl had managed to worm her way into their lives and flipped them completely upside down. Nikita had known all along, but Michael... He was still struggling with it all. Struggling with what he was feeling and thinking of everything. Of Alex. He'd been down this road before with Nikita and that hadn't ended too well. Especially given the fact that she was the reason for the distraction known as Alex coming into his life. Sure, things hadn't been ideal with the way Division was working, and Nikita being on the loose, but until Alex had showed up, he had managed to seem mostly ignorant of all that went on in that place. Alex walks in and everything went to hell. He couldn't ignore the way the recruits were treated by Percy and Amanda anymore. Whenever Alex was in trouble, he'd find a way to protect her and thus become even more entangled in doing damage control of whatever Amanda or Percy did that was too drastic or that was toeing the line between reasonable and completely insane.

Air hissing out of his mouth, Michael carefully eased open the drawer and removed the ammo before shutting it again. Setting it on the counter, he stared at the two guns for a minute, before shaking his head and pocketing the ammo. Grabbing the guns, he walked back into the living room and slumping down onto the couch, he put his gun on the coffee table keeping Alex's in his hands. Turning it over between his hands, he smiled slightly. He'd been the one to pick out what gun to give her. She had been doing so well in the recruit work and he knew she was nervous about being out in the world again even though she wouldn't show it. He figured that having something there to remind her she wasn't alone would help so he'd selected a gun similar to the one that he used himself. Never thought there might be the chance of her possibly using it against him in the future. _Would_ Alex use it against him?

He liked to think that he could read just about anyone. His training in the military and then in Division had helped strengthen it and made him better at it. Yet, even before all that, Michael had always been good at getting a sense of what people were about and how they worked. Observing Alex and training her, he had gotten to watch as she changed and developed into an amazing agent and human being. Had part of who she was been there all along? Or had it all been a facade that Nikita helped her create?

"No, that's not right," he mumbled to himself, shaking his head. "Nikita might have trained her, but the way Alex reacted to Thom... To everything... That's who she really is Division or no Division." Thinking back on all that had happened in the past 12 hour time span, he hated himself for how he'd treated her. Five hours ago he had made her feel like the worst person on the planet. Groaning in frustration, he couldn't believe he'd pushed so hard on the topic, had been so rough with her. That he had hurt her. The one thing he never wanted to do ever again.

Glancing back at the gun again, he remembered Alex's strength and determination through whatever Division threw at her, and he also remembered her fear, her vulnerability when things got to be too much, like with the car bomb test, and with _Mirko Dadich_. That man was such a pig and Michael was more than happy to be rid of him. Hanging his head, Michael whispered, "The girl is real, her emotions are real. God, and I just _had_ to keep prying her for answers." He felt disgusted remembering how much he'd lost control with Alex. She may be working with Nikita, but she didn't deserve to be cornered into reliving the worst moments in her life. _Royally screwed this one up, didn't you buddy?_, his conscious pushed at him and he scowled. Running his hands over his face, he debated what to do. Grabbing his phone, he paused wondering if he should really be doing this or not. _I need to know_, he decided before quickly dialing the number. Holding the phone to his ear with his shoulder, he stood up and leaned over to grab the guns.

"Hello?" the person on the line responded.

Calming himself, Michael told himself it was the right thing to do. "Hey, it's Michael. I need you to get something for me.

Sighing, the person sounded irritated. "What now, Michael?"

Smirking, he vaguely replied, "I'll let you know. Sending the information in an email momentarily." Walking over to the computer, he quickly typed out a message and hit send. "It should be loading on your computer screen about now."

"Loading," was the only confirmation he got. The silence that dragged out afterwards made him tense up.

"Can you do it?" Michael rasped out tiredly.

"Michael... Why do you want that? What's going on?" the person sounded nervous and while Michael couldn't blame them, he also couldn't afford to care right now.

"What's going on is my business. Can. You. Do. It?" he bit out between his teeth.

Silence dragged out for a minute or two more, before the shaky response came over the phone. "Yeah, I can do it."

Releasing the breath he'd been holding, Michael ran his hand through his hair. "Great, I'll meet you in about half an hour. Same spot as usual," he said in a clipped tone before ending the call. Dialing another number, he waited for Alex to pick up, but still it just went straight to voicemail. Frustrated, he ended the call before grabbing his keys.

Stalking over to the counter, Michael grabbed his knife and slid it into his boot. Swiftly moving to the coat rack, he shoved the guns in the pockets and slung it on. Looking back over everything in the apartment to make sure he hadn't missed anything he slammed the door behind him, locked it, and went to his car. Hopping in, he stopped and gripped the steering wheel. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, and centering himself, he maneuvered out of the parking space and apartment complex, speeding to his destination.

Ruffling her hair after the conversation with Nikita, Alex walked into the living room and slid the phone between two books on the top shelf to the right of the TV and closest to the window. The Division cell phone started ringing again and she hurried back into the bedroom. "What is with everyone calling me today?" she grumbled. "It's like one call ends and, oh hello, another one starts." Jerking the phone out of her purse, she scowled at the screen. "Oh look, 'Michael Calling'... Whoop-Dee-Frigging-Do. Forget it. He can call all he wants, I'm not answering," she growled and jammed her thumb on the end call button. Her fingers catching on a knot in her hair, Alex turned to go take that shower, when there was a knock on the door. "What the hell!" she exclaimed, stalking over to the door. "Why can't I just get some peace and quiet around here?" Yanking on the doorknob, she blew up as it swung open. "What do you want n- _Hi_, Nathan," Alex hastily corrected herself.

Nathan raised his eyebrows and tentatively smiled at her. "Hey, Alex. Did I catch you at a bad time?"

Grinning sheepishly, she shook her head. "No not really... Well, er, maybe a little. I was just getting ready to wash up. Phone's been ringing nonstop since I got home, and finally got a moments peace to think."

"Ah, I know how that is. Whenever gigs come up for DJing, I never know when I'll get to just chill out and relax," he nodded in sympathy. "So I take it things are still crazy with your job, huh? They still having problems?"

Plastering a smile on her face, she briefly nodded her head. "Yeah, we thought it had all been worked out, so I came home... Only to get called again due to _more_ problems popping up."

Grimacing, Nathan shook his head and sighed. "That sounds very... Unpleasant. You get one thing fixed, only to have more trouble develop in it's place."

Nodding emphatically, Alex wanted to laugh at the irony of the situation. _If he only knew_, she thought, combing her fingers through her hair again only to find more knots. Accidentally tugging a particularly bad one caused her to wince. "Ouch," she muttered quietly, but not quiet enough where Nathan didn't hear it. Blushing, she looked up when she heard him snort. Smiling, she crossed her arms and said, "Hey! You try having to manage hair this long, buddy. It's not as easy as it looks."

Shaking with mirth, Nathan held up his hands in apology. "Alright, alright, I'm sorry. I think I better let you go now before your hair attacks _me_," he joked backing out of the doorway. Her mouth falling open, she went to hit him on the arm, but he twisted out of the way. "Later, Alex!" he quipped, turning to go to his apartment.

Laughing quietly to herself, she shook her head. _Wait a minute..._ Sticking her head out the door, she saw Nathan about to shut his door. "Nathan!" she called out, and when she saw him lean back outside to look at her, she smirked. "What'd you come over for anyways, smart ass?"

Amused, he tilted his head at her. "_Now_ you want to know," he laughed. When she started tapping her fingers on the doorframe expectantly, he relented. "Oh relax! I was just coming by to see if you wanted to hit up another concert with everyone tonight. You in or you busy?"

Her fingers stilling on the wood, they nervously flexed around the frame before she crossed her arms over her torso. Biting her lip, she shifted her feet. "Nathan... I don't know if-"

Seeing her reaction, Nathan softly smiled to ease the tension. "It's okay if you can't make it, Alex," he gently assured her. "I just figured you could use a night out. Especially after this morning's events. You're boss can't be an easy person to deal with."

Giggling nervously, Alex blew out a frustrated breath at his observation. "You have _no_ idea," she agreed, and shifting her weight to her right leg she considered him for a moment. "The concert's tonight?" she inquired, gradually starting to have the idea grow on her. _I could use a night of fun..._

Nodding at her, Nathan saw the curiosity shining in her eyes and grinned. "Yep, tonight around 9'ish. Same club as last time. You in?"

_Oh what the hell..._ "Count me in," she chirped happily, clasping her hands in front of her.

"Awesome! I'll swing by later. We can walk there if you want?" Nathan suggested.

"Sounds great. I could definitely use some fresh air if the weather permits it. Otherwise just meet up there?" she asked unsurely.

She could be hours late for all he cared, Nathan was just glad the girl was finally relaxing a little. _Finally. Alex you just need to loosen up once in a while_, he thought in relief. She might not have been his neighbor very long, but he could tell she needed a friend. Shrugging his shoulders indifferently, he said, "Fine by me. See you later, Alex!"

Waving goodbye, Alex turned to go back into her apartment. Cringing she quickly spun back around. "Uh Nathan?" she called out nervously. Seeing him stick his head back out, blinking and looking confused, she bit her lip. "I really do want to go tonight, but if somethings comes up at work, I'll have to cancel."

Chuckling, Nathan tilted his head in understanding and winked at her. "I wouldn't expect anything less, Alex. Same deal as last time. You're a hard worker with a crazy schedule. I get it if you have to change your plans." Seeing her grimace when her fingers caught on a knot in her hair again, he smirked and said, "Right then. I'm going to go tidy up my apartment and I believe your hair is calling you to wash it."

"Ha. Ha. Ha. _Very_ original, Nathan," Alex replied, voice full of sarcasm. Shaking her head, she waved again and smiled. Once she saw him close the door to his apartment, she sighed and reentered her own. Shifting her mouth to the side again, she debated for a minute before shutting off both cell phones. Happy with the promise of, or rather the illusion of no interruptions, she tiredly walked into the en-suite bathroom and got everything set up for her shower. The shower which would hopefully help her forget for just a little while.

Pulling up at the coffee shop, Michael pulled on his sunglasses and walked to the outdoor dining part of the place. Spotting who he was looking for, he leisurely walked to the table. "Well? Did you get it?" he asked, casually sitting back in the chair. Jumping the person slammed the book down on the table.

"Geez, Michael! Give a guy some warning next time!" Birkhoff exclaimed, and looking around cautiously, he reached into his messenger bag and slid the envelope towards Michael. "It's all there. Everything you asked for," he said confidently, but didn't remove his hand when Michael tried to pick it up.

Glaring at Birkhoff, Michael hissed, "Let. Go."

Now getting really concerned, Birkhoff leaned forward. "Seriously, Michael. What the hell is going on? First, with the network earlier, and now this? You need to tell me something, man. I can't help you if I don't know what to look out for."

Clenching his jaw, Michael wanted to be mad, but he knew the risks he was taking. The same risks he was having Birkhoff take by getting this for him. Throwing his sunglasses on the table, he watched Birkhoff for a minute. Leaning forward on his elbows, he rubbed his temples. Massive headache, check. Meeting the tech wizard's gaze, he briefly looked around before saying, "You're right, okay? I know the risks of what I'm doing, but you don't. I can't tell you all of why I'm doing this, because at this rate the less you know the better. What I can tell you is, Alex could be in some serious trouble, and I _have_ to figure it out." Steepling his hands, Michael knew that if this went wrong, they were all dead. "You've seen her, Seymour, the girl is stronger than almost any recruit we've ever had, but all it's taken to knock her off her feet is one little comment or action. _That's_ why I had you shut off the security feeds earlier. I had to get answers from the source," he explained quietly, leaving no room for debate.

"Did you get any?" Birkhoff asked seriously, loosening his grip on the envelope.

Momentarily confused, Michael furrowed his eyebrows. "Any what?"

"Answers," Birkhoff replied.

Staring down at his hands, Michael mumbled, "Not the kind I was hoping for."

Leaning back in his chair, Seymour Birkhoff merely observed his friend for a moment. If he was honest, Michael was one of his only friends. As his friend, he had to help him. Resting his hand against his mouth for a minute, something finally clicked. "You care about her, don't you?" he asked amazed.

"What? About who?" Michael snapped.

Grinning, Birkhoff replied, "Alex. You care about her."

"Of course I care about her, idiot. I care about all the recruits and agents I've trained," Michael snarled.

Chuckling, Birkhoff shook his head at Michael's reply, but decided to let it go. He hadn't seen Michael so attached to anyone in years. It was good to know Division hadn't destroyed who he was. Smirking he simply said, "Whatever you say, buddy." Growing serious again, he narrowed his eyes at Michael. "Really man, how bad is this?"

Picking up the envelope, Michael nervously tapped it on the table. "Honestly, Birkhoff? If things go the way they seem to be going, we're all done for. Unless we start making our own choices about what to do," he confessed, looking totally sincere and utterly serious. Both of which made Seymour Birkhoff al the more nervous, but also determined to help him. Standing up, Michael pulled his sunglasses back on.

Following Michael's example, Birkhoff packed up his things and got ready to leave. Exhaling noisily, he watched Michael again. "Michael..." he cautiously asked, getting Michael's attention. "Is Alex in danger from Percy and Amanda?" Seeing his friend freeze up answered the question for him. "I see," he whispered.

Leaning over the table, Michael grabbed Birkhoff's shirt. "Percy _can't_ find out about this. Neither can Amanda or anyone else in Division. _Understand_?" he growled.

Hastily putting his hands up, Birkhoff gulped. "Easy man, easy. I'm not going to tell anyone. I swear. I know Percy isn't faultless, Mike. Seen it with my own eyes," he darkly admitted, and Michael loosened his hold at the expression on Birkhoff's face.

"What are you talking about, Seymour?" he asked suspiciously.

Straightening his shirt and hoodie, Birkhoff sighed. "That's a story for another time, my friend." Hoisting his bag over his shoulder, he shoved his hands in his pockets and held Michael's gaze. "I'm just saying to be careful. We both know what's on the line here."

Nodding his head in understanding and thanks, Michael grabbed the envelope and walked to his car.

"Oh and Mike? Don't worry about the network. I'll come up with a reason to put it under total system maintenance. Just get done what you need to get done," Birkhoff called after him, and running to catch up with him handed him a signal scrambler. Raising an eyebrow, Michael looked at it and then back at him. "Just in case things don't go to plan, have this on for backup. It sends out a false signal, so they won't know what's happening," Birkhoff explained. Jokingly saluting Michael, he held his gaze for a minute before walking to his own car and driving off.

Sitting in his car, Michael carefully opened the envelope to check over what was inside. Resealing it a few minutes later, he set it in the passenger seat. "Here goes nothing," he muttered, pulling away from the coffee shop and back to the main roads.

Alex was drying off after taking the much needed and relaxing shower and had just started towel drying her hair when she heard a knock at the door. She tightened the robe and letting her arms fall to her side, she carefully walked to the door to avoid slipping on the wooden floors from her feet being damp. Checking the time, she was confused. Nathan wasn't due for a few more hours. "Who could it be now?" she mumbled.

Swinging the door wide, the towel slipped from her hand. "What the hell are you doing here?" Not waiting for an answer she growled, "I thought the ignored calls made it _obvious_." Defensively crossing her arms, she glared at him. "I don't want to talk to you, Michael."

He just stood there and stared at her for a moment. The way he was looking at her completely unnerved her. She'd seen Michael serious, seen him beyond pissed off at others and at herself, but right now he looked... Sad? _What's going on?_

When he lifted an envelope in his hand and held it out to her, she grew suspicious. "What is this?" she asked warily.

"Just open it," he rasped, and looking at him, she saw how _not_ put together he was. His tie was loosened and he had his shirt untucked. The most disturbing thing though was the hauntingly sad look he had in his eyes.

Nervously, opening the flap of the envelope, Alex carefully pulled out a thick manila folder. Even more perplexed, she looked back up at Michael.

"Turn it over," he whispered, and doing as he instructed, she went numb.

"Oh. My. God," she wheezed, leaning on the door for support.

On the top of the folder, in big bold letters was the name of an op Division had done. What caught her attention was the name of the target.

'**Target: Nikolai Udinov and Family.**'

This was her family's file. From Division.


	11. Chapter 11 How Far Are You Willing To Go

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well... Think it's safe to assume you guys liked that last chapter! :-) It's like this thing just keeps coming out in waves. One minute I'm _completely_ stuck on what to write, and the next I'm just cracking out pages left and right. That chapter was definitely the longest thus far. Not sure how long this one will be at the moment. Simply have to wait and see. Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: No I do not own the characters of Michael, Alex, or anything to do with Nikita. This is just me expressing my love for the show.

**The Truth**

~_**Previously In The Truth**_~

On the top of the folder, in big bold letters was the name of an op Division had done. What caught her attention was the name of the target.

'**Target: Nikolai Udinov and Family.**'

This was her family's file. From Division.

**Chapter 11 - How Far Are You Willing To Go?**

She was shaking... That was the only thing Alex noticed as she stared down at the file in her hand. She was shaking from head to toe. Slowly lifting her head, she met Michael's gaze once more. Opening her mouth to speak, she hesitated and closed it again. Feeling the doorknob digging into the skin of her left hand from holding it so tight, she realized that she was still blocking the doorway and Michael was still standing out in the hall which wasn't the best place to be having this conversation. Hand falling to her side tightly clutching the folder, she stepped back and tilted her head sideways quietly saying, "Come inside."

Michael nodded and stepped by her into the loft. Softly shutting the door behind him and locking it, she took a deep breath before turning to face him. He went to say something, but she held up a hand. "Just... Just give me a minute." Walking over to the phone in the kitchen, she glanced at the time. _3:45P.M... This could take hours_. Lifting the phone off the charging dock and flopping the file down on the counter in front of her, she dialed and nervously bit her thumb nail as she heard the ringing.

Walking into the living room, Nathan grabbed the phone off the coffee table and pressed Accept. "Hello?"

"Hey Nathan, it's Alex," was the nervous greeting that came over the phone. Raising an eyebrow, Nathan glanced at the clock. The show wasn't for five more hours. _Wonder what this is about_.

"Hey, Alex! What's up? You getting ready for tonight?" he asked, flopping back on the couch.

Leaning against the counter, Alex crossed her left foot over her right, avoiding looking at Michael who had gone considerably still when he found out who she was talking to. Cringing at what she was about to do, she fiddled with the tie of her robe. "About the concert... Nathan, I'm sorry, but more problems came up at work, and I honestly don't know if I'll be done in time to go to it."

Hanging his head back on the back of the couch, Nathan inwardly sighed. _I should've known_. _Man, that girl works too much, but... I can't hold it against her_. "It's okay, Alex. Don't worry about it."

"Are you sure? I mean I would love to go, but work is just crazy right now," she replied, and he had to smile at how conscientious she was being. Poor girl was worried about him when her job was pulling her from all sides.

"Seriously, it's fine. Just try not to overdo it at work, alright? You're only human, Alex, you can only take so much," he reminded her softly.

"Don't I know it," Alex muttered anxiously glancing over at Michael again. Clearing her throat, she quickly said, "Sorry again for canceling, Nathan. Enjoy the concert for me and I'll talk to you later?

"Will do and see you later, neighbor," he chirped, before ending the call.

Setting the phone down on the charging dock, Alex finally turned around to face Michael. Only he wasn't looking at her... Okay, he was looking at her, but not at her face. Watching him trail his gaze up from her feet to her face she was confused. "What?"

_She looks so innocent_, ran through his head as he took in her appearance of the damp wavy hair with her bundled up in the bath robe and her bare feet shifting on the floor. To Michael, Alex looked so _normal_ this way and for once she looked like a regular 19 year old girl, er, young woman. For this one moment, she didn't look like someone whose life had been torn to shreds in a matter of minutes. Not only that, but she didn't look like a person Division trained to be an assassin. In this moment, she was just Alex... He liked her this way.

Watching him, she noticed his eyes were dark with emotion when she snapped him out of it, and smirking slightly he commented, "You might want to get changed first." Glancing down at herself, she felt her face turn bright red. Gulping, she looked up at Michael who was still smirking with a strange look in his eyes. Backing up, she carefully started easing back to her bedroom, Michael's gaze following her the whole time.

"Um, I'll be right back..." she trailed off embarrassed and hurriedly shut the bedroom door behind her. Sagging against it, she pressed her palms to her face to try to cool it down. _Calm DOWN, Alex!_ Lecturing herself the whole way to the closet she could still feel the heat in her face. _Michael saw me in a robe... God, that's embarrassing_. On the other hand... He had seen her pretty much topless before when she was first brought into Division. _I wasn't FACING him at the time! I also was at least wearing pants then. God, what if the robe had come undone?... Why was he looking at me so weird?_ Banging her head on the closet door, she wanted her mind to just shut up. "Get a grip," she mumbled. "It's not the first embarrassing thing you've done in front of Michael and it probably won't be the last. Get over it, get dressed, and go back out there to find out what the hell he's doing with your file."

Briefly tugging on her hair, she yanked open the closet and grabbed a T-shirt and some sweatpants, neither of which Amanda would approve of. Grabbing under clothes out of the drawers, Alex kicked the drawer shut and slid the closet doors closed. Pulling the clothes on she considered pulling her hair back, but knew that it would just result in a tangled mess if she did. She already had enough messes to deal with, she didn't need to add her hair as yet another one.

Turning, she prepared herself to go back out and face Michael. For a moment, she thought of just staying in the room and driving Michael up the wall waiting for her, but she wasn't _that_ cruel... Most of the time. Smirking at the idea, it calmed her down a bit, and briskly walking to the door she paused before swinging it open. Alex slowly strolled back over to grab the file off the counter keeping her emotions in check. Facing Michael she put on her best poker face and lifted the file up to eye level. "Where did you get this, Michael? _How_ did you get this? Better yet, what are you planning on_ doing_ with it?"

Michael had to admit she could do a good poker face, but her eyes gave her away every time. He could see the suspicion in her eyes, and the distrust. While it stung to see it, he knew he deserved it after what had happened that morning. Sticking his hands in his pockets, he decided to keep it simple and short. "Percy's office, Birkhoff, _and_ that depends on you."

Blinking rapidly, Alex tried to make sense of whatever the hell just came out of his mouth. "Huh?"

Smirking, he held up his left hand. Lifting one finger, he said, "Where did I get the file from? Percy's office." Michael held up a second finger and grinned. "_How_ I got the file? Well, that's thanks to Birkhoff, Division's resident tech genius." Holding up a third finger, the smirk gradually disappeared. "As for what I plan on doing with the file... Like I said, it all depends on you."

Raising an eyebrow, she skeptically tilted her head at him. "_Yeah_... Okay for one thing, you're insane to break into Percy's office, Birkhoff or not. For another thing, Birkhoff? I tell you about my past and you involve _him_? Geez, Michael, you may as well have signed my death sentence already!" she yelled, shoving the file hard against his chest knocking the breath out of him.

"You really need to stop doing that," he grunted, before holding the file out to her again. "This file is yours, Alex. Take it."

Snatching the file back from him, Alex chucked it at the table then turned back to him and glared.

He took a step forward and reached out to her, but she flinched and stepped back. Sighing, he slowly stepped forward again and clapped his hands down on her shoulders before she could move away again. Searching her eyes, he saw her anxiety, anger, and...fear? _Is she afraid of me? Or of what could happen?_ Squeezing her shoulders, he carefully lifted his right hand to brush her hair back and met her gaze. "As far as Birkhoff, don't worry about him. Just because he's Division doesn't mean he isn't trustworthy. He's just as much a gray area in there as I am, _and_ he's my friend. He won't tell anyone anything that could get you, me, or especially himself in trouble. Seymour's not as loyal to Percy as he is to me, got it?"

Gulping at the jolt of warmth that ran through her when Michael touched her, Alex nodded slightly. "Got it," she breathed out. Easing back out of his grip, she defensively crossed her arms over her chest. "Now what did you mean when you said what was done with the file depends on me? If you expect me to do something like give up where Nikita is, then you may as well just turn me in because that will _never_ happen."

Tipping his head forward in compliance, Michael knew that she would never betray Nikita like that. "I figured as much, Alex. I wouldn't ask you to do that anyway. Not after everything that's happened," he informed her, searching her face for any sign that she believed him. There was no use lying to her or keeping anything from her. All that would do is cause more problems. He saw her posture loosen a bit, but the suspicion increased tenfold.

"Then what _do_ you want?" Alex asked, cocking her head. She could see the sincerity in Michael's eyes, but sometimes that only went so far with people when it came to him. The act of deceiving people. It was all part of their training in Division. He didn't usually trick _her_ per se, but after what she'd told him, Alex didn't exactly know where they stood anymore.

Shrugging off his jacket, Michael draped it over the back of a barstool. When he sat in it the reverse way with his legs on either side and the back of it against his chest with his arms hanging over the back, she hid a smile. He never acted like that, or behaved in any way that _wasn't_ expected of Division's Second-In-Command... Except with her. _Why is he so different with me?_

Pushing up the sleeves of the button down shirt, Michael loosely laced his fingers together and let his hands hang over the back of the barstool. "I want answers."

Walls slamming into place, Alex walked right up in front of him. "I already gave you _answers_," she hissed through her teeth. "I told you _everything_ earlier and there is no way in hell that I am reliving that again. No way I'm reliving _any_ of what happened earlier again." Hands clenched into fists at her sides, Alex couldn't _believe_ Michael would have the nerve to say that.

Michael had known she'd been hurt earlier with the way he had acted, but seeing it and hearing it again in her voice made the guilt a bit harder to live with. The fact that she'd been crying was just as obvious. The shower may conceal the signs, but it couldn't get rid of the scratchiness of her voice. Lifting his right hand he held it out towards her. "Come here." When she hesitated, he whispered, "Please, Alex."

Carefully placing her left hand in his, Alex grudgingly moved towards him when he pulled on her hand. Sitting in the barstool next to the one he occupied, she tried to remove her hand from his, but he didn't loosen his grasp on her and instead turned the seat so he was still facing her. Not having the will to fight, she sadly gazed at him. "Michael, what do you want from me?"

"First, I want you to relax. I'm not here as the enemy, Alex," he assured her, lacing their fingers together. "For another thing, I wanted to apologize for earlier. I seem to be saying sorry to you a lot lately. In the past, it's been relatively minor problems. Yet how I treated you today, after you trusted me with everything about you... It wasn't right. I never should've thrown Thom back in your face like that. You had a bond with him and for me to degrade it so horribly... I can't even put into words how disgusted I am with myself for that or how unbelievably sorry I am for doing that to you. I know it's damaged your faith and trust in me, and I know it's not going to be fixed over night, but I am telling you now, you _can_ trust me, Alex," Michael said with so much conviction and honesty in his voice and on his face, that it was almost overwhelming to Alex at how open he was being with her.

Squeezing her hand, he leaned forward so she couldn't look away from him. "When I said I wanted answers, I didn't mean about what you told me this morning. I meant answers about just how far you're going to go in your plan to takedown Division."

Wrinkling her eyebrows, Alex felt even more confused. Admittedly it wasn't just about what he was saying, but also about how his touch was making her feel. _What is __**wrong**__ with me? This is Michael! Why am I feeling so strange around him?_ Thoughts were running rampant in Alex's mind. _You know exactly why_, a quiet voice in the back of her head responded. Mentally shaking herself, she got back to the current situation. "I don't get it, Michael. What do you mean how far I'm going to go?"

Licking his lips, Michael stared at their intertwined hands. Speaking softly, he elaborated by asking, "I mean... What are you going to do? Who will you fight... Maybe even... Kill... If they get in your way? Who will you let go? Who is on your list of people that need to go? Percy? Amanda? The recruits? _Everyone_ in Division?" _Me?_ Michael wanted to ask what she would do to him if he stood in her way, but refrained.

Realizing what he was asking made Alex squirm uncomfortably and she leaned her right elbow on the counter, resting her head in her hand staring at the tiles on the countertop. She'd been avoiding the idea of having to kill anyone, but knew it could come down to it in the future. Would she be able to pull the trigger on someone? _Could_ she willingly take a life like that even if it was for the cause? Alex would fight like hell, but other than the accident with Thom, she'd never killed anyone. Nikita had always been there if it came down to that. What _would_ she do at that point in time? _I don't know_.

"Michael, I... I really don't know what to tell you," Alex admitted softly, biting her lip. "Before what happened with Thom, I'd never taken a life before. I don't want to do that ever again, but Division _has_ to be destroyed. While the concept of giving people a second chance is all well and good, the type of chance they're giving isn't the right one. All they train us to do is kill people. Well, that, or to lie and be deceitful and it's not the way for anyone to live their life. I know that sounds off coming from the girl who's been keeping secrets this whole time, but I did it to keep myself and Nikita alive. You have to know that's not really _me_, Michael. That's not who I _am_."

Gripping his hand tightly, she prayed that he would believe her. Other than Nikita, Michael was the one person alive who knew her the best. He thought that he didn't know the real her, that she had lied to him. When in reality, even with the lies Nikita had devised to keep her safe, Alex had never been able to be anything _but_ herself with Michael.

While Michael was glad to really hear Alex say it herself, that she really didn't know if she could kill anyone, it didn't ease his worries any. The question was though, was he more concerned about what would happen to people in Division in the end, or what would happen to Alex in the crossfire? _Get your head on straight, buddy. You need to get your priorities in order_. The voice sounded strangely like Birkhoff, but he really didn't know what his priorities were anymore. Rather what the differing level of importance was between them. Division... Alex... Nikita. Michael couldn't help but wonder about the whole damn ordeal. _When did things get so complicated? _The facts made him think otherwise. _Correction: When __**haven't**__ things been so complicated?_

Feeling the tension in her hand, he subconsciously started rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. "I _do_ know that, Alex. Now I know for sure anyway. I knew it from the beginning, but everything you told me just caused so many doubts to surface, I didn't know what was really fact and what was a lie. You might not like the training Division has done with the recruits and agents, but Nikita helping you accomplish it at advanced levels is probably the only thing that's kept you alive so long. You're a strong spirit, but if you weren't capable of hiding the past behind an elaborate lie, they would have outright killed you."

When she grimly nodded in acknowledgement of what he'd just told her and he knew that Alex understood, he eased her chin up with his left hand. "You still haven't answered my question, Alex."

Alex took a shaky deep breath and pressed her lips in a thin line. "So ask me again."

Holding her chin steady, Michael stared in her eyes. "How far are you willing to go?


	12. Chapter 12 There Is One Exception

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Rather LONG Author's Note: Okay so it was pointed out to me that I kinda skewed the lined a bit as far as Alex's cover and how Michael is her cover's boss. Don't fret I am going to remedy that in a chapter or two if I'm calculating right once I get some things set up beforehand. As for the rating being M for Mature. It's mainly me playing it safe guys. The scale says strong coarse language has to be M and well, I'm not risking all the cursing being considered too much for T rating. Furthermore, there may be some detailed violence so I can't risk it. I seriously doubt that there will be anything more graphic than a make-out session in any of the story. Yes, they might sleep together at some point, but if it comes to that I'm probably not going nitty gritty on details of it. That may cost me some readers, but really guys this story isn't just about them having sex. It's about their relationship with each other and with everyone around them. If I do decide to do graphic details well you guys won't be the only people surprised about it cause I'd be surprised myself. I'm _really _grateful and glad you guys have liked the story so much! Seriously, this thing just keeps coming in waves. One moment I'm blank, the next more pops up in my head. Anyway, onto the next chapter!

P.S. Anyone ever have a word program say one word count number, and then have the uploaded file listing something different here on FanFiction?

DISCLAIMER: No I do not own the characters of Michael, Alex, or anything to do with Nikita. This is just me expressing my love for the show.

**The Truth**

~_**Previously In The Truth**_~

When she grimly nodded in acknowledgement of what he'd just told her and he knew that Alex understood, he eased her chin up with his left hand. "You still haven't answered my question, Alex."

Alex took a shaky deep breath and pressed her lips in a thin line. "So ask me again."

Holding her chin steady, Michael stared in her eyes. "How far are you willing to go?"

**Chapter 12 - There Is One Exception**

Thinking it over, Alex knew that not everyone in Division deserved to be taken down when Division fell. The recruits were like her. Scared and confused about what was happening to them. Well, except for people like Jaden. Frowning at the memory of her history with the girl, Alex honestly didn't know what side Jaden fell on. Would the girl do everything possible to ruin Alex and Nikita's plan or would she throw them all for a loop and help them? No matter what, all the recruits deserved to make their own choice. Whether they chose to stand with them or with Division, they had the right to choose what they wanted to do.

Shaking her head, Alex sighed in exasperation. "I- Michael, while I believe that Division has to go, the people in it... I couldn't take away their right to live. Percy and Amanda, eegh and Roan, are people that will have to be dealt with when that time comes, and will probably have to be eliminated, but the recruits... I can't do that to them. They're in the same spot I was in, the same spot Nikita was in, and neither of us have the right to force them to do anything. Whatever they decide to do, to help us or work against us, I can't kill them. I _won't_ kill them. If the recruits stick with Division, I'll do what I have to do to subdue them if they fight me, but I won't be responsible for taking their life."

"Well, that partly answers the question," Michael relented, feeling somewhat relieved. "What will you do about the other agents though?" he inquired, tension running through him at what her answer might be.

_Fellow agents. People I've worked with... They're still the same as who I am. They went through the same crap I did. The same crap the recruits went through_. "The other agents," Alex began haltingly. "The other agents will have their own choices to make. I don't know what they'll do. Some of them have been there about as long as I have. Others have been there since you joined in, Michael. You may be a gray area, and Birkhoff might be too, but Percy and Amanda can be so damn manipulative it's sick. The agents might not want to give up what Division has 'given' them," she explained, nervously avoiding eye contact, thinking about the fact that Michael himself was in that category of the Division hierarchy.

Resting her hand under her chin, she bit her lip in contemplation. "The recruits I can relate to and can guess at what they might want to do, but the other agents are all wild cards, Michael. I don't know some of them at all, and ones that I've met have mainly just been brief acquaintances. Even the agents I do know personally I have no idea what they'll decide to do in the end." At this her eyes flickered up to meet his briefly. Clearing her throat, she watched their intertwined hands and whispered, "Or what some of them will do now that they know the truth."

"You mean me," Michael stated rather than asked, and taking her silence as confirmation he ran his hand down his face in exhaustion. "Tell you what, Alex. You answer the rest of my questions and I'll try to answer yours."

Eyebrows shooting up her forehead, Alex didn't know whether to smack him or just throw him out of the apartment. "You'll _try_ to answer me? Are you kidding me, Michael? You come here demanding even more information out of me, and yet you can only give me your word that you'll _try_ to give me answers." Twisting her hand loose from his, she snorted in disgust and leaned back in the bar stool to get some distance between them. Crossing her arms, she coldly gazed at him. "Tell _you_ what, Michael. Either you agree in the next three seconds to give me all the facts yourself, or you can see yourself out the door right now. I'm not going to tell you _anything else_ if you can't even agree to be totally honest with me in return."

"Alex, it's not that simple!" Michael exclaimed, but she wouldn't hear it.

"One," she started counting, her right eyebrow angled up expectantly.

"If I could tell you everything, Alex, I would. You know that," Michael pressed, trying to talk her out of it.

"Two, and no, Michael, I don't know that. You _can_ tell me everything, you're just too scared to do it. I'm not trusting you any more than you trust me. Which _clearly_ isn't much given the way you're acting," she retorted bitterly.

"How can I trust you when you lied to me the whole time I've known you?" he shouted at her, realizing too late what he'd just said. He watched Alex clench her jaw and saw her hands flex into tight fists. "Alex..."

"That's what it comes down to for you, isn't it, Michael? The fact that I did the bad thing of lying to you? You tell me you believe me, and say that you understand why I did it, when in reality, you can't see past any of it. You've done a hell of a lot worse to me in the past that I forgave you for. My God, Michael, you've done worse in the past 12 hours!" she yelled, getting up off the stool. "Oh yeah. Three. Time's up, Michael and there's the door. You can see yourself out now," she growled, turning away from him. Deciding the file could wait until later, Alex left it on the table and headed towards her bedroom. She couldn't stand to be in Michael's presence a moment longer.

Screeching the wood across the floor, Michael jumped back off the barstool. Stalking after Alex, he gripped both her arms from behind causing her to jump in surprise and he held them to her sides when she tried to wriggle loose. Wrapping his arms around Alex's front, he held tight so she couldn't move. Moving his head next to hers over her shoulder, Michael calmly told her, "You're not going anywhere."

Squirming around, Alex tried to keep her panic under control when she found she couldn't move. This was too familiar to her. "Michael, what are you doing?" she nervously asked, feeling sweat starting to form on her forehead.

"You ran away once already today, Alex. You're not doing it again. I know what I said was crap, but guess what, Alex? Life is crappy. That doesn't give you the excuse to run away when things get hard," he sternly said in her ear. Feeling her tense up, Michael frowned in concern, but she didn't see it. Softening his voice, he whispered, "I'll tell you what I know, alright? Forget what I said a minute ago. The lies don't matter anymore. What matters is us trying to fix this right now."

Unknown to Michael, Alex barely heard anything he'd said to her. _This is Michael. Relax, he won't hurt you_. Her body wouldn't listen though. Too much had happened lately. She'd thought of the past too much. Revisited the pain more than she should have. Now it was coming back to torment her. Memories of Vlad and of his employees. Memories of what they did to her. "Michael, please let go," she weakly begged, feeling her heart pounding in her chest.

Feeling Alex shaking in his arms, Michael became even more worried. "Alex, are you-"

Snapping under the stress, Alex forgot it was Michael holding her and started fighting against his grip on her. "Let go!" she cried, jerking forward and to the sides. "Let go of me! I won't be anyone's puppet anymore!" she yelled, growing frantic when his hold grew tighter.

"Alex, calm down!" Michael barked at her, trying to hold her still so she wouldn't hurt herself. The memories were still too fresh for her. If he let go now, it would only make it worse. The thrashing started to slow down, and eventually she just collapsed back against him.

"Please let me go," she sobbed brokenly, her legs giving out from under her.

Cradling Alex in his arms, Michael eased himself down to the floor with her. Resting his head on her right shoulder, he gripped her right hand in his left while keeping his arms wrapped around her torso and rocked them back and forth. "It's just me, Alex. It's Michael. Everything's okay. It's just you and me. The past is over, Alex. It can't keep it's hold on you if you don't let it. Fight it, Alex. You're strong, you can do this. Fight it and come back to the present," he commanded, hoping she somehow heard him through her fear.

Michael knew from experience the memories could take a person deep into them. Sometimes it was easy to get out. Other times it was almost impossible to escape the pain inflicted by them. The flashback he'd had when he was captured by Kasim, of what happened to his family, had felt so real that it'd taken him a while to come back to the present time to see Nikita there rescuing him from Kasim's henchmen. He had to help Alex get past hers. She couldn't end up like he almost had if Nikita hadn't gotten there in time. The memories could get her killed if she let them take over.

Alex heard the words, but it took a while for them to make any sense. "The past is over," she mumbled in a daze.

"It's completely over, Alex. Just focus on the now," he agreed gently, exhaling softly when he felt her start to get control over herself again. He didn't like seeing her like this. Michael could see why Nikita had such a bond with her. They're lives were almost one in the same on what they'd had to deal with. He hated the secrets and the lying, but he was grateful to Nikita for helping Alex as much as she had.

Leaning her head back against his left shoulder, Alex meekly wiped at her eyes before turning her head slightly to look at Michael. "Sorry I keep doing this in front of you. I don't usually break down like this, well ever, but after everything that's happened... I guess it all got to be too much."

"Don't do that, Alex. Don't apologize for being human. Not to me, or to anyone for that matter," he ordered sternly. Running his right hand down the side of her face, briefly wiping away tear tracks on her cheeks, he sternly looked her in the eyes. _What did they do to you?_ If he ever met the miserable excuses for human beings that had done all this to her, Michael would make them wish they were dead... Then probably kill them. Especially Vlad for turning her into a junkie and making her feel worthless. Softening his tone, Michael shook his head in disbelief. "If you stop feeling anything you won't be you anymore. You won't be the girl I've known the past 6 months. The girl who I've seen take on just about everything and come back stronger from it. If you stop feeling you won't be Alex."

The fierce look in his eyes shocked Alex to her core. Every time Michael looked at her, the _way_ he looked at her drove her crazy. She was relatively sure it wasn't exactly normal for Division's trainer to look at a recruit-turned-agent that way. Then again, she wasn't sure of much of anything anymore so who's to say she was right about the looks he gave her. Maybe she was just imagining it? Maybe she just wanted to believe it was there. To believe that he really did care about her. Eyes widening at the path her thoughts were taking, Alex broke eye contact and instead stared at his shoulder rather than his face.

"Nikita doesn't know about this whole thing yet," she blurted out, then blushed like mad at the complete randomness of it all.

Freezing for a moment, Michael looked down at their position. He was still holding her against him. _Ah hell_. _You're getting too involved, Mikey_. Wishing he could shut off the voice that sounded like Birkhoff, Michael eased his arms loose from around Alex and slid back from her. When she turned in place while remaining seated, he hid a smile, and then proceeded to cringe at his behavior again."Ergmhrmm... Doesn't know about this whole what yet?" he asked, clearing his throat and self-consciously pulling at the collar of his shirt.

Missing his touch on her, Alex frowned slightly, but shook it off. Licking her lips, she fiddled with the hem of her shirt. "She doesn't know that I told you about, well, everything. That I told you about me. About her. About the me working with her to destroy Division situation. I didn't know how things would go down after the whole confession thing, and I didn't want to risk endangering her more than I already have."

Blinking in comprehension, Alex scrunched her eyebrows together curiously before tilting her head at Michael. "Come to think of it... You never _did_ give me a clear idea of what's going to happen now, Michael."

"Yes, well, you never finished answering me now did you?" he retorted, starting to feel irritated. They always seemed to dance in circles with each other.

"For the love of... Damn it, Michael! You want an answer? Fine, I'm not going to kill the recruits. I can't make promises about the entirety of the agents. I won't kill anyone that I don't have to alright? They stay out of my way and I'll stay out of theirs. If they don't give me any other option, even then I'll try not to kill them and just to incapacitate them. If it comes down to life or death, they will go down, Michael. One way or the other," she bit out angrily, but Michael knew she was dead serious.

The anger was definitely there and at times, Michael had seen it cloud Alex's judgement, but this time he knew she meant what she said. _That_ was what worried him. Who was he more worried for though? What killing someone again would do to Alex, or what that meant for Division's future? _Why can't anything ever be simple?_

Alex had managed to keep her voice firm even though on the inside she was admittedly terrified. Of what he was asking of her and at what could happen now that he knew what she was willing to do to succeed. She didn't want to kill anyone ever again. If it came down to her life or theirs, she didn't want anyone to die because of her, but she wouldn't let herself get killed. Like she told Michael, she would do what had to be done.

"Percy and Amanda?" he rasped out, with a dark look in his eyes.

Squaring her jaw, Alex crossed her legs in front of her and crossed her arms over her chest. Keeping her expression cold, she glared at him. "They sealed their fate already, Michael. Percy's had his outcome decided since the moment he ruined Nikita's life _and_ mine. If Nikita doesn't get to him, then _I will_," she growled.

Shifting her mouth to the side in thought, she wobbled her head side to side contemplatively. "As for Amanda, well, while I might not like the psycho-bitch, she's Nikita's call. She hasn't messed with me nearly as much as she did Nikita when they took her in after the Op that was supposed to make me an agent. Even with the car bomb bullshit, Amanda isn't my call to make. If Nikita wants Amanda gone, well then that is that. However, if Amanda tries to kill Nikita or myself flat out, well then that's same fate as Percy in the end I guess."

When she shrugged and acted indifferently about the fact that she'd just admitted she would willingly kill Percy no matter what, it made Michael nervous. She'd just bluntly made a real threat against the head of Division and it was Michael's job to take her in or kill her. The problem with that was... He couldn't do it. Michael couldn't bring himself to do either to Alex. The girl had every right to be doing what she'd been doing and had every right to want Percy dead. 'Course there was the other reason being he actually _cared_ about what happened to this girl. _Well, I'm screwed_. Only thought that went through his head and made his expression even more grim.

"There is one exception to it all though," Alex muttered to herself and wanted to bang hear head on something really, _really_ hard at what her one weakness was.

Jerking his head up, Michael watched her through hawk-like eyes. "What was that?"

Grimacing, Alex knew she had no way to get out of this one. Shifting uncomfortably, she forced herself to look at him. "I said there was one exception."

"Exception to what?" he demanded suspiciously.

"To who I'm willing to hurt and kill," she replied, keeping it simple.

Cocking an eyebrow at her, Michael slid his hands across the floor behind him and leaned back keeping his arms straight for support. "And that would be?" he asked expectantly.

"You," she whispered, causing Michael's hands to slip out from under him in shock and he landed flat on his back.

"_What_?" he gasped, coughing from the impact.

Inhaling deeply, Alex got up and walked over to him. Grabbing his left hand in hers, Alex helped him up and, ignoring how close they were, she held his gaze. "You," she repeated quietly. "I couldn't hurt or kill you, Michael. Even if I tried to, I wouldn't be able to do it. Not after everything you've done for me."

Eyes running over her face, Michael was at a loss. She really meant it. Running his hand through his hair, Michael took a step back. "Alex, I... I'm honestly not sure what to tell you," he rasped out, slowly backing away from her. Emotions flashed across her face, and Michael thought he saw hurt, but she shut him out before he could be sure.

Bowing her head, Alex squared her shoulders before meeting his gaze again. "Don't worry about it," she breezily responded. Walking around him, Alex headed towards her bedroom. "I just thought you should know all the facts, if we're going to be _honest_ with each other," she called out as she entered her bedroom. "What'd you expect, idiot? For him to really care? For him to respond the way you wanted him to?" she muttered softly to herself. Staring at herself in the mirror over the vanity, she bitterly shook her head. "Forget it. You blew it with the secrets."

Yanking a hairbrush through her hair once, she gathered her hair in her hands and pulled it up into a ponytail. Placing the brush back on the vanity, she leaned against it with her hands. "He probably hates me now."

Seeing the sad expression on her own face, Alex shook her head and spun away to head back to the living room and Michael. Except for the fact that Michael was now standing in her bedroom.

"Michael!" she exclaimed, jumping back only to bump into the vanity. Wincing, Alex grabbed her left side that she'd hit on the edge of the table and glanced at him through the fringe of bangs on her face. Nervously chewing on her lip, Alex rubbed her side. "H-How much of that did you hear?"

Closing the bedroom door behind him given Alex's tendency to bolt, Michael cautiously walked towards her. "Enough," he replied vaguely, making Alex gulp.

"Enough as in?" she shakily asked, her hands fidgeting at her sides.

Moving so he was right in front of her, Michael scanned his eyes over her face. Smiling slightly, he lifted his left hand and pressing his thumb against her chin, he lightly tugged down to get her to stop biting her lip. "Keep doing that and you'll hurt yourself," he commented lightly. She blushed slightly, but obliged him all the same. Dropping his hand from her face, he shoved both hands in his pockets and bowed his head in thought for a moment. _You have to tell her. It's not right to let her think you don't care_.

Ruefully shaking his head, Michael looked at Alex again. Grabbing her hands in his, Michael hunched down so their eyes were level. "I don't hate you, Alex. I promise you that. I might get mad, or furious, or even pissed off at you, but I do _not_ hate you," he firmly told her, before smiling again slightly. "Besides, I don't think it would be polite to hate the person who just told you that you were the one person that they couldn't and wouldn't hurt or kill."

Mouth dropping open, Alex shrieked and turned bright red. "Michael!" she yelped, swatting his arm.

Chuckling, Michael went against his normal instincts to keep his distance and quickly pulled Alex into a hug before she decided to try to hit him again. None of his usual behavior seemed to happen around her anyway given how many times he'd held her today. "Couldn't resist," he quipped into her ear. When Alex groaned and buried her head against his chest in response he grinned. "Alex," he called out softly.

"Hrm?" she grumbled embarrassed.

"Thank you," he earnestly whispered in her hair. When she pulled back slightly and lifted her head to look at him, he smiled at her face still being slightly flushed.

"You don't have to thank me for it, Michael," she replied, shaking her head in denial. "After everything you've done, there's no way I could even consider the idea of doing that to you."

Smiling wider, Michael had the immense feeling of déjà vu. "I seem to remember a similar conversation earlier where you wouldn't give until I accepted it. So _now_, you have no choice but to do the same," he countered, eyes flashing in a challenge and the smile turning into a smirk. "I'll say it again. Thank you, Alex."

Sheepishly smiling at him, Alex shook her head in defeat. "You're welcome, Michael." Stepping forward, she hugged him this time. Smirking into his shoulder, she bit her lip before carefully lifting her right hand over his left arm. Quickly she pinched the skin of his upper arm between her thumb and index finger before twisting out of his arms when he grunted.

Playfully scowling at her, he rubbed his arm. "You're a minx, you know that?"

Snickering behind her hands, she stepped forward and rubbed the area she'd pinched, lightly with her right hand. "Stop teasing me and maybe I won't have to be," she cooly told him, grinning when he smiled back at her. When he gripped her hand in his left and slid it off his arm only to hold it between them, she looked at him curiously. Noticing the serious expression, she started to feel anxious. Staring in his eyes, she momentarily lost herself. _Focus, Alex!_

Little did she know, Michael was having the same difficulty with her. Interacting with Alex the way he had been had basically set it in stone for Michael. After being around her and talking to her about everything, he saw who she really was now. He knew what he had to do. "I've made a decision," he announced, breaking the silence and startling Alex.

Subconsciously, Alex bit her lip again and shifted from one foot to the other. When he remained silent, she grew even more concerned. "Which _is_?" she prompted.

"I'm not going to turn you in, Alex," he finished, his expression becoming tender when she sagged down in relief. The look she had on her face in that moment convinced Michael that he was doing the right thing.

"Michael, I- Thank you!" she gasped, hugging him tightly. When he pulled back and held her at arms length, she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"Don't thank me yet," he said seriously. "I'm not turning you in, but that doesn't mean I'm joining you in your plan with Nikita."

Eyebrows shooting up her forehead in alarm, Alex didn't know what to think. "Then what are you-"

Cutting her off, Michael held his hands on her shoulders. "I'm not going to stop you either."


	13. Chapter 13 What Have I Gotten Myself Int

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey guys, sorry for the long wait. This is a bit shorter than the previous ones, but honestly I just couldn't wait to give you guys SOMETHING to read. Have a plan set out for the next couple chapters too so will slowly be putting them up on here as they get finished. Thank you SO much for your patience! You have no idea how proud I am of this story right now and how amazed I am at all the dedicated readers of it. Anyways, enough of my babbling. Here's the new chapter!

DISCLAIMER: No I do not own the characters of Michael, Alex, or anything to do with Nikita. This is just me expressing my love for the show.

**The Truth**

~_**Previously in The Truth**_~

"Don't thank me yet," he said seriously. "I'm not turning you in, but that doesn't mean I'm joining you in your plan with Nikita."

Eyebrows shooting up her forehead in alarm, Alex didn't know what to think. "Then what are you-"

Cutting her off, Michael held his hands on her shoulders. "I'm not going to stop you either."

**Chapter 13 - What Have I Gotten Myself Into**

Flopping tiredly onto the couch, Alex zoned out staring at the file resting in front of her. The file she had yet to open, partly due to fear of what it would bring up in her, and partly due to being unsure if she really wanted to know what lay inside. Did she really want to know all the nitty gritty details of the Mission that took her family from her? The details of how they'd killed them? Yes, she wanted answers, but didn't know if she wanted to see them in stark black and white on paper.

Closing her eyes, Alex rubbed her temples to try and ease the pain from the massive headache she felt coming on. Michael had left about half an hour earlier when he'd been called in by Percy. God knows what would've happened if he had stayed. The way he'd been looking at her... Biting her lip, Alex shook her head. "Cut it out," she hissed at herself, before having her gaze once again turn back to the folder. He'd told her it'd be better for her to keep the file since if anyone untrustworthy ever found it, well she'd be dead, then Birkhoff would be dead, and then he'd be dead as well. Had told her that while he wasn't going to help in their plan to take down Division, he'd rather not see her killed for her past. Said file had been taunting her ever since he left.

Tentatively reaching her hand out, Alex started to lift the front flap of the folder, but growled and jerked her hand back, letting it fall shut again. "Screw this! The file's been kept hidden this long, it can wait a bit longer. All of it can just wait a little bit longer," she grumbled, grabbing it and standing up to stretch. Walking into her bedroom she pulled open the drawer of the night stand and dug everything out of it. Placing the file at the bottom of the drawer, she shoved a purple notebook in on top of it to hide it before she carefully placed everything else back in a messy arrangement where not one bit of even the notebook itself was visible.

Stifling a yawn with her hand, Alex sleepily blinked at the clock. It was only 6:30P.M. yet it felt like the middle of the night to her. She would've met up with Nathan in a while if she still had the energy to do it, but she just felt so _drained_. Groaning, Alex crawled into the bed and burrowed under the covers. _A little bit of sleep couldn't hurt_, she thought sleepily before quickly drifting off.

Hours later she was awoken by beams of sunlight hitting her face from the window. Groaning, Alex held her hand in front of her face and rolled over to look at the clock.

"Holy shit!" she yelped, falling out of the bed when she saw the time. _1:45P.M.? Surely I couldn't have slept that long?_ Checking her phone, she saw that it read the same time. Standing up, she hastily grabbed the nightstand when she swayed dizzily. Feeling cold, Alex realized her clothes were covered in sweat. Walking on wobbly legs, she made it to the bathroom only to see her red-faced reflection staring back at her. _Oh, you have got to be kidding me_. Pulling out a thermometer she sighed and shoved it in her mouth while glaring at her reflection. *_Beep Beep. Beep Beep_* Pulling the thermometer out of her mouth, sure enough it read 101.9 for a temperature. "Well, isn't this just _fantastic_," she grumbled.

Chucking the thermometer back on the sink counter, Alex opened the medicine cabinet, but realized she didn't have any Tylenol. Roughly slamming the cabinet shut out of frustration, she cautiously turned in place and grasped the doorway tightly in her hands to keep her balance as she carefully made her way back to the bed. Crawling onto the mattress, she laid on her side before pulling her cell phone to her. Biting her lip in thought, she scrolled back and forth through her contacts. _Michael... Nathan... Or Nikita? Nikita, Nathan, or Michael?_ The choice was made for her when it started vibrating in her hand and flashing Nathan's name across the screen.

"Hello?" she rasped out, wincing at her sore throat.

"Alex?" Nathan asked perplexed. "Is that you? What's wrong?"

Coughing, she took a deep breath before responding. "Hi Nathan. Yea, it's me. Just not feeling too great right now. Think I have a stomach bug or something."

"Are you okay? Do you need me to come over?" he inquired gently.

"I'll be fine, but... Do you think you could bring over some Tylenol or something? I checked and I'm completely out of it. No Tylenol plus this fever just plain equals major suck," she grumbled.

Chuckling softly at her particular wording, Nathan nodded before realizing she couldn't see him. "Sure, I'm at the store right now, but can be over in about 20 minutes. That okay with you?" he asked, grinning when he caught sight of something at the other end of the aisle.

"Sounds great, Nathan. Thank you," Alex whispered, being careful to not irritate her throat any further.

"Anytime, Alex. I'll be there soon," he replied before ending the call. "Anytime," he sighed to himself, shaking his head as he rolled the cart to the end of the aisle. Reaching up on the top shelf, Nathan plopped the item into the cart, before smiling again and whistling softly on his way to the checkout.

Inside Division, Michael was having what seemed to him to be the worst day possible. No, scratch that thought, worst _two _days possible. Birkhoff had kept his word and made the entire system go black, but Percy had been breathing down his neck ever since he found out about the network being down. Something about how he was having Operations track someone in Russia, or Germany or wherever it was he'd yelled in his ear about. Looking at his watch, Michael wanted to groan. It was almost 2p.m. already, which meant he'd been there for almost 24 hours managing some new mastermind plot of Percy's.

Watching Michael out of the corner of his eye from where he was seated in front of the computers, Birkhoff couldn't help but frown slightly and shake his head. He was glad to see Michael caring about someone again, but in doing so he had put Alex, himself, and Birkhoff in a very dangerous situation. If Percy found out they'd all be dead. _Or tortured by Amanda and __**then**__ dead_. Cringing slightly at the thought, Birkhoff checked over a few more stats on the screen, before Michael's pacing got to be too much for him.

Gritting his teeth, Birkhoff raised an eyebrow and called to Michael. " Uh hey, Mike, come over here a second." Only the pacing continued, and Michael seemed not to have heard him. "Michael!" he hissed, snorting when Michael jumped and spun around. _Score 1 for Seymour Birkhoff_, he thought smugly, but knew it was bad if Michael of all people got caught off guard like that.

"What?" Michael bit out, looking annoyed.

Seeing that he finally had Michael's attention, Birkhoff pointed to the door. "Go home," he ordered. "_Now._"

Eyebrows shooting up his forehead, Michael stood completely still. "Are you crazy, Seymour? Percy wanted me to oversee this op. I can't just go-"

Cutting him off, Birkhoff growled and wanted to pull his hair out. "Michael, get the hell out of here. Right. Now. You've been here since yesterday and the op has been total silence for that whole time span. You want to know what goes bad with silence like that, Mikey?" he griped and continued when he saw Michael about to interrupt him. "You. Pacing. You've been walking up and down the entire room for at _least_ the past 5 hours and it's driving me nuts!"

Glancing at his watch again, Michael almost debated arguing with Birkhoff to stick around, but one look at the computer wizard convinced him otherwise. He owed Birkhoff at least this much after dragging him into an extremely dangerous situation. Relaxing his stance, and yanking his tie loose, Michael finally nodded and sighed. "Alright, I'm going, but let me know if anything happens. Got it?"

Nodding at Michael in return, Birkhoff held his gaze and whispered, "Likewise."

Restraining himself from rolling his eyes, Michael barely tilted his head in acknowledgement and turned for the door briefly throwing a wave over his shoulder as he left.

Taking a deep breath, Birkhoff rolled his shoulders and grabbed a Red Bull. "Sweet silence at last," he mumbled and leaned back in his chair, waiting for news on the op.

Walking the halls of Division, Michael kept his expression blank. Being here so many years, he knew there were eyes watching him in every single corner of this building except for his office, Percy's office, and Amanda's... Well, he didn't even really know what to call that particular room. "Speak of the Devil and it shall appear," he grumbled to himself when he saw Amanda round the corner up ahead coming towards him. "Amanda," he greeted, briskly nodding his head starting to walk past her.

"Hello Michael. I've been needing to speak with you about something," she responded, making him freeze in his tracks and clench his jaw. Turning around he coldly smiled at her. "Yes, what is it about?" he asked in clipped tones.

Clasping her hands together over a folder, Amanda kept her eyes hard. "Percy's had a new mission develop and was wanting you and myself to select the agents to be assigned to it." Handing the folder over to Michael, she watched him scan through it briefly. "That's the list I came up with. I know their emotional and mental state, you know their physical state. Feel free to cross off the ones you don't think are ready for this yet." She glanced around briefly before taking a few steps closer to Michael.

Scrunching his eyebrows together at her actions, he dully asked, "Anything else, Amanda?"

"Just one more thing, Michael," she replied, speaking more softly. "Alex is on the list, and seeing as you're on your way out I assume, I want you to deliver the message to her in person. This is a Kill Mission, Michael. I want you to make sure she's ready for this. Yes, she's killed before, but I don't know how she's fared with it since then. She won't talk about it in sessions, and I know she's closer with you so-"

"Amanda, she's not-," Michael started to protest, knowing what could happen if Percy found out about any extenuating circumstances or bond between Alex and himself.

"Yes, she is, Michael," Amanda whispered, abruptly cutting him off. "Anyone with eyes can see it. You're her mentor who's been with her since the day she was brought in here. It's normal for there to be some bond of trust between you two," she shrugged and her eyes were twinkling a bit. "Just check with Alex, inform her of the mission, and let me handle the rest."

Gulping at Amanda's expression, Michael nervously agreed. "I will. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to my apartment," he replied as he angled himself back towards the other direction down the hall. She nodded and continued down the hall. When she rounded the other corner, Michael jerkily ran a hand through his hair before turning completely to leave again keeping his head down the entire way out until he reached his car. _Kill Mission. Alex. Alex on a Kill Mission. She's not ready for this again. She __**can't**__ be ready for this again_. Michael knew the minute he told Alex, all it would do is bring up memories of Thom. He hoped Amanda wasn't setting them up for a trap. She was right, the only one Alex had really told about that night was himself. Michael couldn't let someone else be the one to inform her of the mission. He had to be the one to do it.

Starting the car, Michael looked at the clock. _2:45PM_. Debating with himself for a moment, he decided to head back to his place and wash up a bit before heading over to Alex's loft to inform her of the mission, and thus probably bring on a whole new round of problems. _What have I gotten myself into?_, ran through his head as he finally left the Division lot for the main roads.


	14. Chapter 14 Feel Better

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Continuing on with the story now. ^_^ Had a few curveballs thrown my way by life, one MASSIVE problem being the internet constantly going haywire, but this story is still going strong. It's a little bit shorter than last chapter, but I'm working on it. Gradually making my way back into it. Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: No I do not own the characters of Michael, Alex, or anything to do with Nikita. This is just me expressing my love for the show.

**The Truth**

_**Previously in The Truth**_

Starting the car, Michael looked at the clock. _2:45PM_. Debating with himself for a moment, he decided to head back to his place and wash up a bit before heading over to Alex's loft to inform her of the mission, and thus probably bring on a whole new round of problems. _What have I gotten myself into?_, ran through his head as he finally left the Division lot for the main roads.

**Chapter 14 - Feel Better**

Steeling himself for what he was about to do, Michael lifted his hand to knock on the door to Alex's loft. Before he could even follow through with knocking the door was swung open by... "Nathan?" The name choked itself out before he could stop himself.

Jumping slightly, Nathan bumped into the door with his back. "Oh! Hey. Michael, right? Alex's boss? What are you doing here?"

Cocking an eyebrow at the blonde, Michael crossed his arms."Gee, you remember that. How... Nice," he muttered before pressing onward. "My business with Alex is none of your concern. Why are _you_ here?"

Holding up an empty shopping bag, Nathan smirked slightly. "I was just bringing Alex some sou-"

"Nathan?" came a raspy voice from the bedroom. Looking over the blonde's shoulder, Michael took in Alex's rumpled appearance as she was rubbing her eyes and felt his hands clench into fists. _You've got to be __**kidding**__ me! _"I thought you'd left already," she mumbled, yawning sleepily.

"I was just on my way out, when I ran into Michael in the hall," he replied, snorting at her overall appearance. Sick Alex was definitely a different look from the clean cut suit look that he usually saw her in.

Frowning slightly and blearily blinking her eyes, Alex looked confused. "Michael?"

Taking the opening, Michael quickly stepped past Nathan directly into her line of sight. "Evening, Alex," he bit out.

Tilting her head in confusion, Alex couldn't figure out why he was being so cold, but ignored it for the moment. Running her hand through her hair, she yawned sleepily before crossing her arms. "What's going on? Did something happen at _work_?" she asked emphasizing it and hoping Nathan wouldn't pick up on it. Glancing at the blonde, she saw that he was just leaning against the doorway watching them.

"Something like that, yes. Boss asked me to bring you in for a client. After all you are one of our best," he smirked, knowing perfectly well how it sounded to someone on the outside such as, oh say, Nathan perhaps? Watching Alex's expression turn from confused to looking like she'd been slapped in the face, Michael ignored the feelings of guilt creeping up in him. Their lives were always a matter of life and death, she had no excuse to be... To be _fooling around_ like she so obviously had been. He didn't dare let himself think of what they had really been doing, he would lose it and punch something. Or _some__**one**_. Glaring briefly at the "neighbor," Michael met Alex's gaze which had now turned to fierce anger. _Get rid of him_, he mouthed at her.

Inhaling deeply as best as she could, Alex slowly let it out before clenching her jaw. "I see," she ground out, keeping her face blank. Smiling tightly, she clasped her hands and walked around Michael towards Nathan. "I'm sorry, Nate, but it sounds really important. Can I call you later?"

Eyes somewhat wide from what the Michael guy had just said, Nathan didn't know what to think. Actually, he didn't know whether to punch the guy or not either. Clearing his throat slightly, he tentatively nodded. "Hrrmhrm, sure, Alex, that'd be fine. You sure you're alright over here?"

Expression softening in gratitude, Alex nodded and walked out to the hall with him. "Yeah, I'll be fine. The soup helped a lot. Thank you so much," she replied, reaching out and hugging him briefly.

Returning the hug, Nathan let go and grinned. "The soup helped? Really? Cause I thought it was more the marshmallow fluff cream more than anything," he quipped and laughed when she weakly slapped him on the arm. "Get some rest, neighbor. You need it." Stepping forward, he hugged her once more and leaned down close to her ear. "If he causes you any trouble, I'm right across the hall, okay?"

Smiling again slightly, Alex nodded as she stepped back. "I know and thanks. Just going to find out what happened and then I am definitely going back... To sleep," she assured him, point being proven by the big yawn mid-sentence.

"Alright, see ya later," he waved his hand briefly as he stepped into his apartment and went to shut the door.

Waving back, Alex nodded and slowly moved back into her loft. Shutting the door behind her, she turned and faced Michael. Stalking forward, she didn't give a second thought to it before reaching forward and slapping him across the face. "What. The hell. Is _wrong_ with you?" she screamed out softly, wincing when her throat throbbed in pain.

Shifting his jaw side to side for a moment, Michael was kind of surprised at just how strong Alex was. He knew she could pack a punch if she wanted to, but damn that girl could slap the hell out of someone. Scowling, he stepped closer to her. "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with _you_, Alex? You know the rules inside of Division just as easily apply to the agents living on the outside. Don't. Get. _Attached_. Don't. Get. _Involved_. Above all, you're not supposed to go sleeping around with people! If anything, I'm doing you and blondy a favor by cutting things off where they are. Any further and well you could pretty much kiss both your lives goodbye and be buried six feet under in less than a second. As well as my _own_ life and Birkhoff's to boot!"

Mouth opening and closing like a fish, Alex didn't know whether to laugh, scream, or break down crying. _How could he do this?_ Blinking rapidly, Alex laughed wheezily and stepped back to lean against the wall. Gripping her head in her hands, Alex tugged on her hair before flopping her arms down to her sides. "A favor, Michael? You basically just made my _only_ friend on the outside think that I'm a cheap _whore_!" she hoarsely shouted at him.

Throwing his hands up in exasperation, Michael lost it. "Well, what am I supposed to think, Alex? I came here to talk to _you_. Instead, I find Mr. Boy Next Door leaving, and then see you coming out of the bedroom. It's the middle of the day and your hair's a mess, your clothes are all rumpled, and you're looking like you just got out of bed with him!"

Biting her lip, she shook her head and looked up at the ceiling briefly before looking back at him with a look of utter betrayal plastered across her face. "You said you had my back. You said that you wouldn't let anything happen to me. Yet, it's plain as day that you think of me as nothing more than some hapless, naive, cheap, easy, _slut_." Pushing herself slowly off the wall, Alex swayed slightly but caught herself. "You want to know why Nathan was here, Michael? He was here because he was bringing me _medicine_. He was here because I woke up barely able to _move_ because I'm _sick_, moron."

Frozen in place, Michael finally noticed the condition that Alex was in. Her face was pale and flushed, she was shaking, and looked like she hadn't slept in days. Now she had him accusing her of being the one thing she hated more than anything in the world._ What have I done?_

Cautiously making her way to the door, Alex bent over coughing and gripped the small table next to it before turning back to glance at Michael. "My clothes and my hair are messed up because I've been _trying_ to sleep off whatever the hell it is I have," she growled out, feeling her shirt covered in sweat, and her legs trembling from holding herself upright this long. "I didn't sleep with Nathan, you idiot. I wouldn't sleep with him. He's my _friend_! He knows it, and I know it. Seems he's my only friend around here now. Well, him and Nikita I guess." Grabbing the doorknob in her clammy left hand, Alex twisted it to open and stepped back pulling the door wide open to the hallway. "As for you, Michael... You can get the hell out."

Grimacing at the rage in her eyes, Michael knew better than to fight her right now. Moving towards the door, he paused in front of her. "Alex, I'm-"

Jerking her head up, she scowled at him. "I said. Get. Out. I don't care what you came here for. I don't care about any of it. Tell whoever at Division sent you here to leave me the hell alone. I'm sick and all I want is to be left _alone_. Now get out," she growled.

For the first time in his life, Michael didn't try to fight what was happening. Didn't try to argue with her. Didn't try to say he was right when he knew he wasn't. He didn't try to apologize because it was obvious she wouldn't hear it. He'd crossed the line with Alex. _Again_. Stepping towards her, he softly kissed her on the forehead and whispered, "Feel better", before stepping out into the hall.

Hand gripping the doorknob tightly, Alex gradually shut the door and then leaned against it in surprise. "Did he just... No. Not right now," she grumbled. Releasing her deathgrip on the door, she tiredly made her way back to her bedroom. Crawling under the blankets, she let her eyes close and let sleep take her away.

Sliding into his car, Michael pulled out his phone and dialed while tilting his head up to look at Alex's loft window.

"Hello, Michael," came the voice on the line.

"Amanda, I went to see Alex," he informed her.

"_And_?" she droned in a bored tone. "Do you think she's ready for the mission or not?"

"Not, I'm afraid. You're going to have to pull her off the mission." Keeping his voice calm, Michael couldn't help, but feel a massive wave of relief wash over him as he said it. She might be ill, but she was safe from having to kill someone. For that, he was unbelievably grateful.

"And why is that?" Amanda inquired, all businesslike.

Knowing that she'd be reporting the team list to Percy, Michael kept his explanation short and brief. "She's completely incapacitated right now fighting off a fever and stomach virus. If we kept her on for this mission, she'd only be endangering herself and the rest of the team."

There was silence on the line, and Michael wondered if she'd hung up on him. "I see," Amanda finally uttered, voice sounding strange. "Thank you, Michael. I appreciate your input and will change the plans accordingly. Tell Alex to get better soon." *_Click_*

Furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, Michael pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it. Amanda hadn't sounded like herself at the end. She sounded almost like she... Cared? Shaking his head, Michael dropped the phone on the passenger seat and looked back up at Alex's loft as he started the car to drive home. "Feel better, Alex... I'm sorry."


	15. Chapter 15 Be Careful

AUTHOR'S NOTE: First things first, THANK YOU to jimi18 for helping me with the airport name. I know some people don't care for specifics in stories, but I'm a stickler, always have been always will be, and to me the best stories have the most details so that's the way I write. Plus, contrary to popular belief, the internet does NOT have all the information in the world. I tried looking where I could, and honestly I don't use streaming video sites at all really since the last one I tried made my old desktop computer I used to have crash. And I KNOW you guys wish I would just have Michael and Alex jump each other already, but just be patient. ;-) They're getting there. Now I know you guys are probably chomping at the bit for more Malex, but I felt this kind of deserved to be it's own chapter so I cut out the part for next chapter. Segueing it back to Malex just didn't seem right for this part. No worries, already starting on the next one. Okay! On with the story!

DISCLAIMER: No I do not own the characters of Michael, Alex, or anything to do with Nikita. This is just me expressing my love for the show.

**The Truth**

**~_Previously in The Truth_~**

Furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, Michael pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it. Amanda hadn't sounded like herself at the end. She sounded almost like she... Cared? Shaking his head, Michael dropped the phone on the passenger seat and looked back up at Alex's loft as he started the car to drive home. "Feel better, Alex... I'm sorry."

**Chapter 15 - Be Careful**

Walking into the Whitfield building, Alex kept flashing back to the day before. Nathan coming over with the medicine, AND the marshmallow fluff. Michael showing up, getting angry, _kissing her forehe_-

"Earth to Alex!"

Jumping slightly, Alex grinned sheepishly at Nikita and crossed the room while digging in her bag. "Sorry about that. My mind was..." Biting her lip, she didn't know how to finish that sentence. Her mind was what? Not focused on their goal? Thinking about a man? Thinking about_ Michael_? Shrugging helplessly, she rubbed her neck. "Sorry."

Raising an eyebrow, Nikita looked Alex over carefully. Something seemed off about her today. She didn't seem to be all in it like she usually was. Her appearance seemed normal, if not a bit paler than the last time she saw her. Other than that one oddity, the only other tip off was Alex sounding flustered. The girl who'd been through hell and back, and was almost as good as Nikita, okay possibly _better_ than Nikita at keeping her emotions hidden from almost everyone when she wanted to... Was nervous? _What is going on?_

Shifting slightly, Nikita reached out her hand. "Burner phone?"

"Got it right here," Alex confirmed, quickly passing the phone to Nikita and taking the new one that was handed to her. "Oh!", she yelped, digging in her bag again. Producing a box wrapped in shiny gold paper, Alex grinned and held it out to Nikita. "Happy Valentine's Day!"

Smirking, Nikita gently took the box and set it on the table. "Thanks... So how have things been with you the past couple days? You look pale," she observed, watching Alex with concern. Growing even more so when the girl had a momentary coughing fit. "Alex, what's going on?"

Waving it off, Alex grabbed a bottle of water off the table and swallowed some before explaining. "It's nothing, Nikita. Don't worry about it. I've had some bug the past 24 hours, but I'm better. Really. Nathan brought me medicine and I've been sleeping it off since."

Opening her mouth, Nikita's expression became stern. "Alex, we talked about this. You need to be careful. You shouldn't be getting involved with Nathan. It's not safe for either of you. He's a civili-" was all she got out before Alex cut her off.

"He's a civilian and therefore his life is at risk, as well as mine and everyone else's with Division around. Nikita, _relax_. I'm not involved with Nathan. I'm not going to _be_ involved with Nathan. He. Is. Just. A. Friend! Okay? A friend who happens to live across the hall and likes helping me out when he can. We don't look at each other that way, alright? Just drop it," Alex snapped, before biting her lip again and cringing when she saw Nikita's shocked expression. Taking a deep breath, Alex slowly exhaled before speaking again. "Sorry, Nikita," she whispered, dropping her head.

Walking over, Nikita wrapped her arms around Alex and hugged her, stroking her hair. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have pushed like that. If you say Nathan's just a friend, then he's just a friend. I'm just worried about you, Alex. Your safety is my number one priority and alarms started going off in my head when it sounded like everything was going sideways lately on your end."

Smirking bitterly, Alex hugged her mentor back before stepping away to meet her gaze. "Things _have_ been hectic lately, but Nikita, you have to _trust me_. If it ever gets to the point where I feel like I'm in over my head, I'll tell you, okay? If I start getting overwhelmed, you'll be the first to know. I promise," Alex stated with a fierce look in her eyes.

Watching her charge's face closely, Nikita couldn't see any signs of deception or concealment. Not openly anyways. She still felt like Alex was hiding something from her, but wouldn't push it right now. Sighing in acceptance, Nikita nodded. "You're really okay?" she prodded one last time.

Thoughts of what Nikita _didn't_ know just yet started to push their way forward, but she shrugged them off. She could handle it on her own for now. She had to. So plastering as much of a smile as she could muster on her face, she nodded in agreement. "I'm _fine_. Now why is the computer flashing?"

Being brought back to the present, Nikita quickly walked over to the monitor and pulled up the traffic cam feed for Alex to see. "It's a message from Ryan. He wants to meet." Pointing to part of the image on the screen, she elaborated with, "We arranged for him to put out the symbol on the postal box at this traffic stop whenever he's come across something we might be able to use." Minimizing the camera feed to a smaller window again, Nikita smiled grimly at Alex. "I told him to be careful about contacting me unless it was something important, so whatever this is it could be big for us."

Mind back on the mission, Alex crossed her arms and nodded. "Okay, so what do I have to do?"

Shaking her head at how willing Alex was to help, Nikita felt relieved that she could say what she was about to. "Nothing yet. For now, do things as you have been. If anything comes up, I'll let you know. Just keep the phone where you can get to it, swap out the hiding place every day or two. I'll be in touch, alright?"

Stretching, Alex smiled and nodded. "Got it. I'm going to head out and do some shopping for the sake of the tracker looking normal, then head back to the loft. Can't ever be too safe with Division agents around, right?" she quipped as grabbed her bag off the chair by the door.

Wearily nodding her head, Nikita couldn't agree more. "Oh, and Alex?" she called out waiting for her to turn around Seeing the curious look on her face, Nikita crossed her arms. "I meant what I said. Be. Careful. The plans seem to be escalating faster than we originally thought and we need to be more cautious. Stay safe out there, alright?"

"I will," Alex promised, and smiling softly she waved at Nikita one last time before heading back out to the street to go home. All the while, Nikita warily watched after her from the window.

"Be safe, Alex. God, someone _please_ keep her safe. She's been through enough," she whispered, briefly closing her eyes in exhaustion, before turning back to the work station with the past weighing heavily on her mind.


	16. Chapter 16 She's Been Through Enough

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ah finally feel like I'm getting my groove back with this story. I love Malex, have since day one, and am doing everything I possibly can to make sure I feel like this story does them justice. Looking back at the early chapters, they went from short to long, so I'm going to _try _and do that again. More ideas keep coming to me and I love the ideas I'm getting. Stay tuned! ;-) Now back to a _slightly_ normal part of the original plot of the show... With changes. This part's getting longer the more ideas I get. Depending on how it writes out, I'll decide how to split it into chapters. Lucky for you guys, you get yet another segment already. :-)

DISCLAIMER: No I do not own the characters of Michael, Alex, or anything to do with Nikita. This is just me expressing my love for the show.

**The Truth**

**~_Previously in The Truth_~**

"Be safe, Alex. God, someone _please_ keep her safe. She's been through enough," she whispered, briefly closing her eyes in exhaustion, before turning back to the work station with the past weighing heavily on her mind.

**Chapter 16 - She's Been Through Enough**

Nervously sticking her head around the corner, Alex sighed in relief when she saw that the hall to to loft was clear. Hastily walking to her door, she maneuvered the bags in her arms to one side, while using her right hand to try and dig out her keys to the door. Her arm was still a bit sensitive, but the medicine Nathan had brought had helped heal it up the rest of the way.

"Need some help?"

Freezing briefly, she gulped and slowly turned her head to glance over her shoulder. _Nathan... Speak of the devil..._

Turning her head side to side in denial, she dug more frantically in her pocket. "No, it's okay, Nathan. I got this," she muttered, finally finding the keys, and trying to shuffle them around in one hand to grasp the one she so desperately wanted right now. "Damn it," she hissed, when it slipped from her hand to the floor. Preparing to set the bags down, she was stopped when Nathan bent over and picked them up before briskly unlocking the door to her loft and holding it open for her. Bowing her head, she quickly shuffled past him. "Thanks," she whispered, walking to the counter and setting down the bags, still avoiding looking at him.

Following her inside, Nathan shut the door and set the keys on the counter. Noticing she wouldn't look at him, he hesitated before breaking the silence. "Alex, about last night-"

Eyes widening, she jerked her up and looked at him. "Nathan, I'm SO sorry about that. I swear it wasn't how it sounded. I'm not like that, and what Michael said, I- he-... It wasn't what it sounded like," she finished lamely, fidgeting with the sleeves of her jacket as she waited for Nathan's reaction.

Snorting, Nathan was quick to assure her. "Believe me, Alex, I'm well aware of that. I might not have known you long, but I know you're no hooker or prostitute. It's obvious," he said, shrugging as though it was nothing.

Raising an eyebrow, Alex titled her head confused. "Obvious?"

Nodding once, he continued. "Yeah, I mean come on, sure you're a great looking girl and all that, and you have a fancy apartment that's well, okay being funded by your company you work for which is kind of... Odd, but-"

Crossing her arms, she narrowed her eyes at him. "Finish that sentence wisely, Colville," she ground out through her teeth.

"_But_," Nathan pressed on, raising his hands in a calming gesture when he saw the glint in her eyes. "Your wardrobe and personality don't exactly scream either one or escort service. You think more highly of yourself than that. Anyone can tell just looking at you, that you have high standards. You wouldn't lower yourself to that level."

Gulping, Alex wondered when she'd ever get to stop having to keep secrets from people. Part of her wondered what her friend and neighbor would think of her if he knew her real past. That she _had_ been lowered to that level, albeit unwillingly. Shaking it off, she weakly smiled at him. "Thanks... I think," she jerkily laughed out, reaching into the bags to unpack the groceries and everything else from her shopping adventures.

"No problem," he quipped before snooping over her shoulder to look in the bags. "What'd ya get?"

Grinning for real this time, she found her prize shopping item and held it up right in front of his nose. "An iPod Nano!", she exclaimed excitedly, stopping herself just short of squealing.

Taking it from her, he chuckled at the bright pink color of the music player. "You're last one break or something?" he asked, not noticing when she frowned and started fidgeting again. Looking up, he handed it back to her, curiosity in his eyes.

Biting her lip, she placed it on the counter, trying to think of an excuse. "A lot of things... Got damaged in the move," she partially lied, pulling out jars of the marshmallow fluff, jumping when he started outright laughing. Setting the jar in front of her, Alex leaned her side against the edge of the counter, watching the blonde try to pull himself together. "Alright, giggle fit, what is so funny?" she demanded, trying to hide the smile that was forming from his behavior.

Clearing his throat, he ran his hand through his hair before holding up the jar and snickering some more. "Marshmallow fluff? Really? Don't you already have, like, 3 jars of this stuff?" he teased.

Snatching it back, she stuck her tongue out at him and moved to put it in the cupboard. "So? It's amazingly addictive sugary goodness," she defended, and threw a washcloth at him when he snorted again.

Relenting, he shook his head with a grin on his face. "Okay, okay, you're right, but please tell me you got some actual real _food_ this time too," he joked, stopping when he saw the look on her face. Leaning over to check the other bags, he hung his head and sighed. "_Alex_"

"What? There's food in there!" she huffed, blushing when he pulled out the bread, jam, and peanut butter.

"Alright, it's food, but Alex, you can't live on this stuff forever!" he protested. Hanging her head, she grumbled something so quietly, Nathan couldn't make out a single word of it. "Huh?"

"Ugh, I said I don't know how to cook," she grumbled looking up, causing her face to go even redder when she saw the expression on his face.

Stupefied, he opened and closed his mouth a few times. "You're joking," he finally managed to wheeze out in shock. Seeing her shrug her shoulders helplessly, he realized she was being serious. "Alex... You really don't know how to cook? Didn't your parents teach you... What is it?" he asked, concerned when she flinched.

Wrapping her arms around her torso, Alex shifted her mouth to one side with a sad far off look in her eyes. "My parents died when I was thirteen, Nathan."

Crossing the room, he pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight. "I'm so sorry, Alex. I didn't know. I shouldn't have said that," he apologized, wondering how on earth this poor girl could have been put through so much. Yet also knowing without a doubt in his mind that he'd do whatever he could to keep her safe and happy.

Pulling back slightly, she softly smiled at him. "It's okay, Nathan. Like you said, you didn't know. Not many people do because I just don't talk about it much. It's not your fault," she reassured him.

"I know this probably won't make you feel better, but I get what you're going through, Alex. I lost my family a few years ago," he confessed with a grim look on his face.

"Nathan...I-I don't know what to say," Alex whispered, feeling shocked. She never thought about it before, but it was true. She'd never asked Nathan about his family or seen any pictures of them at his place. He'd lost everything, just like she had. "All I can say is... I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he said adamantly, shaking his head. "It's not your fault, you didn't know either." Shrugging his shoulders, he gave her a sad smile. "Like you said, people don't talk about it when it's happened to them."

Resting his hands on her shoulders, he grew serious again. "All you need to know is that I'm here whenever you need me, Alex. Right across the hall. Always remember that," he ordered fiercely, making her chin tremble a bit at the honesty in his eyes and voice.

Pulling herself together, Alex hugged him again before stepping back. "I will, Nathan. Thank you," she whispered, squeezing his hands briefly.

"Hey, it's what friends are for right?" he chirped, hopping back over to the bags. "Now back to the matter at hand... We need to get you some real food in this kitchen," he sighed, shaking his head in amazement the girl had on the basics this long.

"But Nathan, I don't know how to-," she started to protest, when he cut her off.

"Ah ah ahhh, let me finish. We're going to get you some real food, and _then_," he paused for effect with a huge grin on his face. "Then I'm going to show you how to make a pizza."

Opening her mouth to protest again, she stopped when he handed her purse and keys to her and started pulling her back towards the door. "No buts, Alex. Come on, we're going shopping!"

Laughing, she finally gave in and let him lead her to wherever the _real_ food was to be found.

Down in Division, the atmosphere wasn't nearly as cheerful.

Gritting his teeth, Michael swore under his breath at the camera feed Seymour had just shown him. _She's getting too involved, _ran through his head only to be quickly followed by, _No, __**you**__ are. The girl was just supposed to be a recruit turned agent. One who is now a known liability to the company. A liability to your own safety. _Once again though, his humanity and feelings won out. _Screw the company, screw my safety, this girl has been through __**enough**_. Yes, he'd been pissed at her more often than not lately, but that didn't mean he'd stopped caring or looking out for her.

Nodding at Seymour, he exhaled and clapped him on the shoulder. "Wipe the feed. All of it, leave no trace of anything that happened there today or for the past hour in this room," he ordered, trying to keep his cool.

"Already on it," was the only response he got as the tech wizard was halfway through looping old feed together for a new sequence.

Just because Michael _cared_ about Alex, even if he wouldn't admit it out loud, it didn't mean he was about to let the incident slide. Too much was at risk. For all of them. Grabbing his coat, he pulled it on before once gain pulling out his keys. "Keep me posted on the mission about Voss. I have something I have to tend to," he mumbled to Birkhoff, being careful to be vague should anyone be listening.

"Will do," Seymour sighed, watching Michael leave and shaking his head at how drastically Michael seemed to have changed in the past couple days. "Poor guy," he muttered to himself. "He's falling in love with the girl and he doesn't even know it yet." Eyes widening, he hurriedly looked around to make sure no one had come by his personal computer lab before sighing again and wiping even more of the original camera feed for the room. _Way to go Seymour, your big mouth almost blew it all to hell_. Even still he couldn't stop the small smile from forming on his face. _Good to have you back Mikey._


	17. UPDATE NEW CHAPTER AND NEW STORY COMING

UPDATE: AUGUST 6, 2012!: I'm still here folks! Truly I am! I know some readers have dropped off thinking I just abandoned the story. I promise you that is not the case. Been going through the craziest move EVER the last couple months and just now getting my feet back on the ground. Also for a twist on why it's taking me a bit longer... I'm working on two stories at once. I work on this story and when I get stuck I work on the Vampire Diaries one I just started during the airing of the latter half of the third season. So for those of you who watch boooooth... You're in for a treat :-). Also finally got my hands on Nikita DVD of Season 1, so hopefully I'll be able to crank out chapters faster and get the story still going where I wanted it to since the beginning.


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